


The Grandstand Girl

by byeolbitchin



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1940's, 40's sentiment on sex, 40's slang, And More Angst, Angst and Porn, Bucky Barnes and the 21st Century, Bucky Joins the Avengers, Bucky and Steve have a hard time minding their own business, Bucky is honestly such a good guy, Canon Divergence - Post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Captain America: The First Avenger, Civil-War-What-Civil-War AU, Declarations Of Love, Eventual Smut maybe, F/M, I don't know how I'm gonna end this tbh, Love Letters, OC has a shit life, Period-Typical Sexism, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Red Hook Brooklyn in the 30's/40's, Slow Burn, Story's finished y'all!, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wartime Romance, World War II, and I keep saying don't bro don't, brief appearance of Peggy Carter, especially Steve, figured out how I'm gonna end this, mention of cheating is that even a warning?, mention of domestic violence and abuse, mention of rape, old timey slut shaming, plot is finally meeting up with the movie, prepare tissues?, second chapter will introduce Bucky and Steve, smut ahoy, sometimes his intentions get fucked up, what did I say about the angst, yall are gonna be so disappointed by the ending tbh, yall seem to have so much hope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-07
Updated: 2017-07-24
Packaged: 2018-07-12 21:09:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7122700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byeolbitchin/pseuds/byeolbitchin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky Barnes knows plenty about Katherine "Kitty" Harris, hell everyone in their neighborhood knows her name. The pretty waitress who works part time at the local diner, part time at the dance hall, and full-time in the Red Hook neighborhood gossip. He stops in from time to time, hears all the chatter, wonders about the details, but dare never ask. Kitty is a nice girl, always polite, friendly, and damn good at her job. Bucky isn't all that curious, to be honest, aside from the diner and the dance hall, he doesn't know her from Eve. But, that all seems to change after he comes in one day and sees her sporting a right ugly shiner on that pretty face.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Little Pinocchio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's about the OC, Kitty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky and Steve won't actually be appearing until chapter two, and as a Bucky/OC fic, it'll probably be mostly Bucky. Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes? I literally just signed up for AO3 today so forgive any terrible formatting or anything, I'm tech challenged.

It is a dull, grey Thursday in Brooklyn, New York City, New York. Early June of 1939, when the weather is still wet and mild from the tail-end of spring. It rains that afternoon, just a handful of days before a picturesque summer wedding is to be held at the Church of St. Francis of Assisi and St. Blaise. A pretty, twenty year old young woman clocks out of her job at a local Red Hook neighborhood diner and opens her umbrella, avoiding the drizzle as she makes her way to the home of her fiancé and sweetheart of three years, Eugene Baker.  
  
Katherine Lucia Harris is a pretty girl, of Scottish descent on her father's side and Italian on her mother's. She stands at an average height, is a healthy weight with a curvy body type, long brunette hair, and hazel— almost green— eyes. She grows up well liked by most everyone that knows her, but that doesn't necessarily make it an entirely blessed existence.

  
Katherine, or Kitty as people often call her, is conceived after the war. Her parents know each other for two years before eloping between tours and are married for three before she's born. But, Emmett Harris returns a different man from the war and though he's thrilled to become a father, the horrors he's seen never truly allow him be there for his wife, Cecilia, or for Katherine. Over the years he takes job after job but his rampant alcoholism always prevents him from keeping them. Cecilia finds work to support the family and is, of course, met with the struggles of being the breadwinner in a time like the 1920's, but she makes due. Never complaining or giving up despite the abuse she takes, both in the office and at home.  
  
Kitty is eight years old the first time her father strikes her, even younger when he'd begun doing the same to her mother. She can't remember the exact thing she'd said to him, but she learns to hold her tongue. To smile, to be kind, to remain calm even when her brain is screaming, to mind her temper, to be seen and not heard. She and her mother live like marionettes until the time she is twenty. Emmett pulls all the strings, and they smile and they talk, they feign ignorance when people question any bruises they may see. Katherine is thankful to her future husband— someone she'd known since grade school when his family had settled in Brooklyn— for proposing to her. Gene Baker is her ticket to freedom.  
  
That rainy June day they're to re-check the reception venue with the wedding planner, lake side at the charming Prospect Park, not far from the church where the ceremony is to be held. It's obvious the weather will lead to the rescheduling of these plans. It worries her, what with the wedding so soon. Everything has to be perfect if she's going to make a clean break. Get away from her father, from the angry purple bruises tucked away under her blouse, from the red one blossoming on her side. She knows her mother too, is biding her time, waiting for Kitty to marry and be free, before taking off as well. She knows her mother has been seeing someone. The promise of freedom is so close they can taste it.  
  
Katherine steps onto the stoop of Gene's apartment and let's herself inside. From the main floor of building she can hear the sound of two people arguing, a man and woman, but doesn't think anything of it. Not until she's standing in front of her fiancé's door and the quarrel is coming from inside. She listens, hearing the pleading voice of Gene and the sobbing of a hysterical young woman through the door.  
  
"You said you were going to call it off!" The lady cries, "You said we were going to move to California and be together!" Katherine's breath catches in her throat. _This isn't happening_. "I'm going to, Martha! I swear!" Gene's voice accompanies. _This can't be happening._ "The wedding's in a week, Gene! It appears like you've made your choice!"  
  
Kitty stands frozen in the threshold as the door is ripped open and a gorgeous blonde woman stands before her, tears shining in her pretty blue eyes. She's a real destroyer, all beautiful and model-esque. Her hair's done up real ritzy and her clothes are high fashion. The woman pushes past her as Gene makes to follow her, stopping stiff at the sight of Katherine in the hallway in front of him. Just like that, her freedom flits away.

 

The wedding is ultimately called off and Eugene moves out of his apartment, never to be seen again. She hears from friends he's somewhere in California, she doesn't mention him having clearly rode off into the sunset with the pretty blonde. At the very least she's grateful to have learned before the ceremony. She knows she'd have died of heartbreak on the spot if he'd left her at the alter. She'd given everything to Gene. Her love, her faith, her virtue. Kitty forces herself not to dwell on it.  
  
Instead she picks up more hours at the diner, focuses on work and is determined to move past this no matter what. Her father mocks her when he's drunk— which is often. That Eugene ran away because she wasn't enough. Because she may be a pretty face, or a good lay, but her head is empty. She has no dreams, no ambitions, no imagination— _just like her mother_ , he says. But, to Katherine her dream had been to escape this hell. To marry a nice man and have children that they will treat a thousand times better than her father ever treated her. This was— and somewhere deep inside of her still is— her dream. But dreams, Kitty learns, seldom come true as they seem.  
  
Eight months pass and Katherine looses sight of wishes, and hopes, and dreams. When she returns home from work one evening to find the police on the stoop of her family home. Her father, visibly intoxicated, leaning against a squad car beside an officer. More police appear to be inside of the house, walking around taking note of the mess of the place. Kitty asks what happened, immediately assuming that her father'd gotten drunk again and terribly harmed her mother. She runs for the entrance.  
  
The house is in shambles, table broken, lamps smashed, things strewn about the house. An officer explains to her that a neighbor saw Cecilia taking her things and leaving with another man. When Emmett came home he'd realized her things were gone and went mad. They cite him for public disturbance and nothing else. Late that night, after she's finished cleaning up the mess he'd made of their home, he beats her like never before. In the morning she calls into work and tells them her mother's gone missing— it's only partially a lie— and that she can't come in. From then on her father turns the fury once directed at her mother toward Katherine. It's a cycle that starts and doesn't stop.

 

With her mother gone, Katherine has to double up her work load to support them. She knows if she doesn't there'll be hell to pay. Emmett still works part of the time, labor jobs that come and go. They're unstable, so she goes from one four-hour shift, four days a week at the diner to two shifts, five days a week, starting at 6 AM and ending at 2 in the afternoon. She to allots herself four and a half hours before her second job to rest, do chores, and cook dinner. Before 6:30 when her shift begins at her new job at the local dance hall. She's pretty so the owner is happy to let her serve drinks, tidy up the lounge, and help around in any way she can.  
  
She doesn't really like it as much as she does the diner. It's loud, with too many people, and too many eyes watching her work. A number of men ask her to dance each night, or offer her a drink, or want to walk her home after closing time. Kitty always politely declines, smiles and waves off the advances. Is nice for the sake of keeping her job, even when men grab at her or are too forward for her liking. She takes patience from a lifetime of existing as a puppet on strings. She smiles, she shakes her head, feigns being easy-going and tolerant.  
  
And, life like that is fine, is livable. She survives on coffee and minimal sleep, aching limbs and long sleeves. Clings to the happy, casual talk and the friendship that the little diner on the main drag holds for her each day. The little things that keep her motivated, keep her from drowning in a sea of endless abysmal despair. The little old man who gives her free bread when she passes his bakery each morning, the other waitresses who happily pick up her slack, the pleasant costumers that come in and leave her good tips, the scrawny blonde artist and his boxer best friend that are regulars in her section.  
  
Two months of serving drinks and dancing around harmless flirtation, one man becomes very persistent on getting a date with her. She doesn't know him from Adam, but he knows her name is really Katherine—despite having only given everyone Kitty— and he insists he'd treat her better than her last man had. And, like she always does, she politely turns him down and keeps her head on her job. Because she has no damn time for a man, let alone one that can't seem to get a clue.  
  
The first night he follows her home. The second he leaves the dance hall before closing time and is waiting for her in an alley six blocks from her house. Katherine doesn't come home that night. Instead she wakes up in a hospital bed with an angry gash on the back of her head, a sinking in her stomach, and an aching between her legs. She listens to the doctor at first. He explains that a woman had found her early the next morning and called an ambulance. She hears him talking about the injury to her head, made by some kind of metal pipe, he guesses. Kitty zones out as he begins to talk about the rest of her injuries. "Evidence of sexual assault," is the term he uses, sounding too formal, too nonchalant. He rattles on about aftercare, douching, how it may affect her emotionally. But, he never suggests she file a police report and she doesn't want to either. She knows how people will react.  
  
Katherine gets released after the doctor is finished rambling and the nurse has showed her how to treat and dress her injury. She gets a doctor's note for time off from work, she falls into the lie of having been hurt in a mugging. She doesn't tell anyone. Doesn't talk or think about it, doesn't feel it. But, at night when she lies in her bed, she feels hands on her body. Brushing through her skin, sinking into her flesh, and muscle, and bone. Feels the bugs crawling in her blood. Remembers brown eyes, and light hair, and mumbling. Recalls the red, wet, warm, squishy feeling of her own blood seeping out and painting the pavement. Remembers ache, and laughter, and moans— not her own. Kitty has a hell of a time sleeping.  
  
When she goes back to work, Katherine steels herself. She buries the horrors and the screams down in the same place that she buried her hopes and dreams. Kitty smiles with her puppet mouth, waves with her puppet arms on their puppet strings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *destroyer: an attractive young woman.
> 
> I don't know how I feel about this? I actually started off writing the first half of chapter two and suddenly decided to establish Katherine first all of a sudden. Now it's 5:30 in the morning and I must sleep!


	2. Doll Dizzy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky starts paying too much attention to Kitty Harris. Why is he so annoyed about his concern for the dame? Hell if he knows, but what he is sure of, is that he isn't fond of fellas roughing her up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes? I'm surprised at myself for updating this soon tbh. There's a ton of 40's slang in this one, more info at the bottom. Thanks to each of you who commented and left kudos, you're all lovely!!

James Buchanan Barnes likes the food at the local diner on the corner of Red Hook's main drag. Which explains why he's there on a Wednesday afternoon with a couple of friends, Robert Thompson and Joseph Allen, without Steve. His best friend is off again at yet another one of the many art courses he enjoys attending.

Rob and Joey are alright guys, he knows them from some manual labor work they'd done together a few years back. While Steve would rather hang back at the apartment when Bucky takes girls dancing, the two men are always happy to accompany him. " _The girls in Red Hook are real sweet_." They'd say. And, he didn't feel bad ditching them when he found himself a broad who was willing to _find some place more quiet_ , which can never be said about when his best friend is accompanying him.

"Check out the gams on that dame, Robbie!" Joey calls in a loud whisper, but it's still enough to get the heads of other patrons turning, as a pretty brunette waitress comes down the aisle toward them, coffee pot and ceramic mugs balanced on a serving tray in her right hand. Bucky doesn't look up, because he knows without checking who they're talking about. Of course he's right, as the young lady in question stops in front of their table and smiles down at the three of them politely. She shows no signs of having heard Joey's hushed outburst, but in the time since he started frequenting this place, Bucky's learned that she pretends not to hear a great deal of things.

"Afternoon, Kitty." he says, finally looking up from the newspaper he'd been mulling over. She tilts her head and replies casually, "Afternoon, Barnes. No Stevie today?" He shakes his head, folding the paper in half as he smiles back at her, "No, ma'am. Had a class."

"Shame. Nice guy, that Rogers is. He's got a real hand for art." Sometimes Bucky and Steve go there for breakfast and Steve likes to sketch the people. The first couple times their waitress gets a little short with them, mad about them tying up one of her tables. After that they sit in a different section, Kitty's, and instead of stressing about the loss of tips she pulls up a chair and asks him if he'd drawn her yet too. He had. She talks up his drawing skills a whole ton, really inflates Steve's ego. Then asks if she can keep the one he'd done of her, tells him she's gonna frame it. They always sit in her section after that.

"Didn't know you knew such a dish, Buck." Rob cuts in, eyeing her. "You gonna introduce us?" Bucky fights the urge to roll his eyes and gestures toward his two pals, "This here's Rob Thompson and Joey Allen." She reaches out to shake both of the hands being offered to her, "Katherine Harris, but everyone 'round here calls me Kitty." she explains, before skipping right into work without a hitch, before this can turn into the two men hitting on her. "What can I get you fine gents today?"

The two men list off their orders, as Kitty places the mugs down on the table in front of them and fills each one with coffee. "I'll just have the usual, doll." Bucky answers last with a wink. "Figured." She replies with an arch of her eyebrow at the obvious flirtation. Much more subtle and a lot less uncomfortable than what she usually receives though, so she doesn't mind. Kitty excuses herself and disappears to place their order and check on her other tables.

"I didn't know that's what Kitty Harris looked like." Joey comments, watching her walk away. Bucky knows what he's on about, he's heard the gossip too. "She's even prettier than they make her out to be, a total wolfess." Rob nods in agreement, but turns to check over his shoulder, whispering to his two friends. "Yeah, but they say she's an able grable that one. Heard a lotta fellas have been with her."

Bucky pauses in bringing his mug to his mouth, uncomfortable. Joey shrugs, keeping his voice low, "Heard that too. Bunch a guys down at the bar said they've had a night with her." Robbie wiggles his eyebrows, "What about you, Barnes?" Joe joins in, "Ever went home with that pretty lil' friend of yours?" It's uncalled for, but he isn't surprised. After all his reputation isn't much better on his side of the spectrum, known for being real *doll dizzy. It's not a secret he goes home with a lot of girls, but he'd never gone home with Kitty Harris, never even tried. "Sorry, boys. The only thing I've ever got from that dame is my breakfast."

Bucky doesn't know how to feel about his buddies talking down on the girl. They aren't friends, but he knows her, is friendly with her. She's always pleasant, not chatty, but still engages him and Steve in easy conversation whenever they come in. She's a charming woman, stands at average height, has an ideal figure, a pretty face. She's never flirty toward them, but she seems to really like Steve, which is more than he can say for most women his best friend meets. As far as Bucky is concerned, she's a nice girl. But, that doesn't mean he doesn't wonder where all these rumors come from, from time to time.

He isn't sure where they started or when exactly, but around six months prior they began working their way through supermarket aisles, down the line at the deli, lingering around bus stops. Out of the mouths of young broads, and strapping lads, and gossiping housewives. He's heard most of them, though he can't say he knows any of the guys that claim to have laid with her. But, people talk and there sure is a ton of it. Most of them tell the same story, took her home with them after her shift at the dance hall.

That rumor seems easy enough to believe, if you didn't know the girl. It's not a secret that Kitty's second job is at the local dance hall. She can be found there four nights a week, serving drinks, wiping tables, anything the boss asks of her really. And, it's not uncommon to overhear men hitting on her or to spot one trying to walk her home. But, that doesn't mean she ever follows through with those men. Bucky honestly doesn't know what to believe, so he lingers on the line. The gossip's always there, but he doesn't accept it or deny it. To him she's only the girl she shows them when she serves them their breakfast and that's all he cares about.

At least he thinks so, until he and Steve come in one morning, same as they often do. She takes their orders, serves them coffee, not unlike any other time they'd come in. Everything is as it usually is, until she's pouring him a refill twenty minutes later and her sleeves are rolled up. Kitty's wrists and forearms are purple and blue. The bruises wrap all the way around, like they were left by the rough grip of someone's hand. He and Steve lock eyes at the sight, both all too aware, but if she notices, Kitty doesn't say anything about it. After that Katherine Harris is stuck in his head a hell of a lot more than Bucky bargains for.

That night he and Steve take a couple of dames out dancing. Pretty girls who talk a little too much for his taste and they don't really pay much attention to Steve, which gets on his nerves far more than he likes to admit. The dance hall is crowded, a lot of couples out for a Friday night on the town. Steve's date is a petite ginger haired broad named, Marjorie, with her hair done up in pin curls and bumper bangs. Bucky's date, Pearl, is fit and pretty, a real solid sender. She's got brown eyes and mid-length dirty blonde hair, styled in finger waves and a big front-barrel roll. She's wearing a pretty blue dress and dancing shoes, pulling him along by the hand as a number of acquaintances greet him.

Bucky frequents the dance hall quite a bit, he's known around Red Hook as a hard-boiled, active duty, sheik that knows his way around the ladies. Those are not rumors, unlike the prattle about Kitty. Bucky is a well known ladies man. He knows the regular crowd in the dance hall, is greeted like an old friend each time he comes, and every time he's there, he sees Katherine Harris.

That evening she's wearing an emerald dress, her usual kitten heels, and a black waist apron. Her hair is done up in two front-victory rolls, the rest of her long, brown tresses pulled back into an elegant ponytail. In her hand, she balances a serving tray with a number of cocktails on it, headed for the lounge section, where she delivers each drink to it's owner. Bucky can see the way each man turns his head as she passes, chatting amongst themselves, mostly likely about her. Kitty gets lost in the crowd after that and Pearl is tugging him toward a group of her friends. She introduces him as her guy and that puts him off a little, Bucky isn't isn't fond of the concept of monogamy. He's young and wants to have his fun before even considering the thought of settling down.

Across the dance floor Bucky looks up and sees Katherine again, her eyebrows furrowed as she marches away from the lounge with a mildly distressed look painted on her face. Behind her a tall young man follows after, wearing a determined expression. Bucky watches the way she ducks behind the bar, keeping out of arms reach, and busying herself. He zones out of the conversation he'd been in, watching as the man waits until she comes back around the bar and touches her shoulder as she passes. Bucky can see it, the way her eyes widen and she shrugs the hand from her shoulder, try as politely as possible to make her rejection clear without being rude. That doesn't stop the man from getting visibly upset at being turned down. He follows as she walks away, shouldering his way through a couple to cut across to her and grabbing her wrist. The same bruised wrist Bucky and Steve has seen this morning.

Before he even realizes Bucky turns from his companions, marching with focused irritation at the man clinging to Kitty's injured wrist. A few feet behind Steve recognizes the indignation in his best friend's gait, the same silent channeled rage that he displays in the boxing ring. "Hey, lay off the lady, pal!" Bucky bellows, grabbing the man's arm and freeing the woman from his grip. Steve is a little surprised to see him so ready to get physical, usually his best friend is the one pulling him out of fights. Luckily it doesn't go any further than that, the man gets lost real quick when a couple of acquaintances join in, asking if everything's alright.

Bucky stands there looking down at her, eyes locked in concern. "Put some ice on that wrist." he tells her, sounding a little miffed. He doesn't know why he's angry, but something about how easily he becomes worried for her peeves him to the core. No one bugs Kitty the rest of the night, but Bucky isn't all there with his date. Pearl seems a little put off with him being so concerned about another dame, so come closing time, she decides to head home with her friend. And, to be honest Bucky doesn't mind. Pearl's easy jealousy is a turn off, especially when it was over something like another woman's safety, and Marjorie hadn't paid much attention to Steve either. So the two young men hail the ladies a cab and stand outside the dance hall as the place is closing up.

Kitty Harris comes out a few moments later, waving to a taxi driver who appears to be waiting for her. The boys watch her get into the vehicle and take off down the street. For the time that evening since that man had approached her, Bucky Barnes is able to relax. He realizes this, as the tension seeps from his bones, and has to fight the groan that attempts to rip itself free. He runs a hand through his hair, turning to follow Steve back to their shared apartment with a shake of his head. He's got it bad, he knows.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *gams: a woman's legs  
> *dish: cute girl  
> *wolfess: an attractive woman  
> *able grable: girl with low morals  
> *doll dizzy: girl crazy  
> *hard-boiled: a tough, strong guy  
> *active duty: sexually promiscuous boy  
> *shiek: a man with sex appeal (from the Valentino movies)
> 
> Leave a comment and let me know what you think so far!


	3. A Few Good Men

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After giving the boys a chance Kitty decides that Steven Rogers and James Buchanan Barnes are two stand-up guys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes? Also If you haven't noticed I'm notorious for short chapters. I suck. Read the author's note at the end of the chapter for a tidbit about the future of this story.

Having it bad proves itself over the next couple of days when Katherine is missing from both her job at the diner and the dance hall. Bucky bites his tongue and doesn't question where she's been, even though he's itching to. He almost does, nearly asks the bartender at the hall if they know where she's hiding at, but thinks better of it. It isn't any of his business, he decides. But, is grateful to learn he isn't the only who's worried, when Steve also voices his concern.

Thankfully they aren't left to stew in their own anxiety at her whereabouts for much longer. They come in for breakfast that Tuesday, three days after the incident at the dance hall, just short of 8 o'clock in the morning. The two young men freeze on the spot as they see Kitty. Bucky can feel the same fury from that night at the dance hall building in his chest again, as he looks at her.

The girl in question is seated on the far end of the diner, in the last booth of her section, folding silverware. Over her cheek and right eye there is the fading, tail-end of a nasty shiner. Someone had hit her real hard and Bucky felt wired just looking at her. Who in the hell had done that? He'd kill 'em.

Steve eyes him a little warily, Bucky's all stiff again, not that he feels any less tense. Kitty is a fine girl, real nice, he couldn't understand why anyone would want to knock her around. Steve is a firm believer that there isn't any reason a man should ever hit a woman, no matter the circumstance. But, he can tell his best friend is extra riled up. He thinks Bucky may be sweet on the girl, even if he himself doesn't realize that's the case.

They settle down at their usual table, another waitress coming to take their orders while Katherine is busy, and they eat their meals when they come. Before it's time to head out, Bucky orders a glass of ice and fishes his handkerchief out of his pocket, dumping contents of the glass into the grey material and securing it into a ball. Steve watches his friend push out of his chair— the legs sounding against the tile as it goes— and make his way to the last booth a few feet over.

Katherine is finishing up the last of the silverware, startling a bit when Bucky sits down across from her. "Good morning, Miss Kitty." He drawls with a lopsided grin, extending his hand to offer her the ice compress. "Real cat fight that must'a been." The woman excepts the bundle, pressing it to her eye and returning his smile, "You should'a seen the other gal." She says, but she can tell from the look on his face that he knows better.

"You know I get a lot of those in the ring," Bucky starts to say, "Make sure you get a warm compress on that when you get home and let it get some sunlight. Rub some warm vinegar water on it to help with blood flow." Filing away these tips for the rest of the bruises she has to nurse, she nods. "I know it sounds funny, but rub the inside of a banana peel on it, it'll help with the color." He rises out of the booth, looking at her tenderly. "Thank you, Barnes." She really means that, but the look on his face is hard to stomach. "And, Kitty-cat?" At the gentle tone of his voice, she feels compelled to make eye contact, hazel meeting icy blue. "No more cat fights."

 

Katherine keeps the handkerchief, not sure how to approach Barnes long enough to give it back. She'd taken his advice and sure enough, her bruises healed up a lot quicker than when she'd simply been icing them. She falls back into her usual routine, avoids her father as best she can, and secretly glances as Bucky Barnes each night at the dance hall.

He's a good man, she decides. A skirt-chaser, but a good man. He's a real hunk of heartbreak, but kind and genuine, and he's best friends with little Steve Rogers. He never treats the scrawny kid like he's any less a man, and what's better is that he treats her like a person. He's a flirt by nature, she's come to realize, but he never tries to lay the moves on her. She'd be lying if she says she isn't a little taken with him, but she'd never try to pursue those feelings. Barnes always has a gaggle of girls on his heel. Even if she were brave enough, there would always be other women, better women for Bucky Barnes.

Kitty doesn't have further time to dwell on those ideas, as she's cooking dinner at her family home on her evening off, because the phone begins ringing in the lounge. She turns off the stove, covering the stew she's preparing, and heads to the living room to take the call. It's her employer from the dance hall. It's much busier than usual, they need an extra hand, and of course she's too good-natured to turn them down. So, she finishes the stew, changes her duds, calls a cab, and leaves her father a note.

Arriving at the dance hall, Katherine can see what her employer meant. The dance floor, bar, and lounge are crowded, seats and tables full, people standing together in groups. It's a busy evening, with customers shouting orders here and there, having to chase people down to deliver their drinks, and taking care not to injure anyone while elbowing through the crowd. A few hours pass and the rush slows down, the night dragging on, but the music never stops and the work never ceases. Not until two hours before closing and a commotion breaks out on the edge of the dance floor.

Two men are shoving each other and hollering back and forth, a small crowd huddled around them. On instinct Steve and Bucky make their way to help separate the troublemakers when they spot Kitty, attempting to wedge herself between the two offenders and another young lady, who's also a part of the argument. Apparently one of them had attempted to pick her up while her date had been in the John and when said date returned he didn't take too kindly to the stranger.

Bucky shoulders his way through the onlookers, now fully determined to stop the rowdy group, but before he can reach Katherine, one of them insults the other, which results in him flying forward to pummel the man who insulted him. In the commotion the two women in the center of the brawl get knocked out of the way as men push through on each side of them, some backing up their friend, some trying to separate the fight. Bucky hears the sound of Kitty crying out over the yelling and with fueled concentration he begins punching his way through the fight. Those who recognize the two-time welterweight boxing champion are quick to get out of his way and Steve is right on his tail, not afraid of getting hit.

A few feet away he can see Kitty on the floor, clutching her ankle. Bucky grabs the two guys who'd been the start of it all, throwing each of them back to their buddies. "Spread out, you fat-heads!" he growls and the crowd backs up. The owner is right on his heels, looking angry enough to kill as he rounds on the men. "Thanks, Barnes. Check on Harris, would'ya? And, you two chuckle-heads? Get the hell outta my club before I call up *Johnny Law."

Bucky turns his head to check on Kitty and sees Steve crouched beside her, he quickly joins them. "I thought I said no more fights, Kitty-cat." He carefully teases, kneeling between her and his best friend. "Well you know me," she jokes, wincing as Steve checks over her ankle. "Trouble's my middle name." Bucky's eyebrows furrow, a huff of breath escaping out his nose as he stifles a scoff. "Alright then," he maneuvers his arms around her shoulders and under her knees, "Well, let's get Trouble some ice for that ankle." With very little effort he scoops her up and carries her over to a booth in the lounge section. Steve arrives shortly after with a baggie and a champagne bucket full of ice from the bartender.

The owner stops over after having cleared out the commotion, concerned and apologetic, he tells her to take the rest of the night off and rest her ankle. After all, the rush has thinned out and it isn't long until they close for the night. Kitty happily agrees and spends the rest of the night tucked into the booth at Bucky's side, enthusiastically engaging Steve in conversation the entire time. Barnes is happy to just watch them, what with a gal taking to his best friend so genuinely. It's the first time they've ever exchanged more than banter or diner small talk and both boys decide they really like Katherine Harris.

They spend the rest of the evening talking, until the owner is chasing them out at closing. She leans on Bucky for help more than she would like, but at least her ankle is feeling much better. She explains she may have to find a phone booth and call a cab, as she sees none on the street, and her usual cabby wouldn't be coming because she was supposed to be off that evening. The two sweet boys offer to walk her home and the part of her brain that is still raw with fear from what had happened in late April begins screaming. She stiffens, fear nearly paralyzing her, but then she looks at the two men.

Steven Rogers, the scrawny punk well known for getting knocked around in back alleys because he can't stand injustice. He wouldn't hurt her, she knows. Kitty looks to Bucky Barnes and thinks it over. He's a skirt-chaser, a real player, but his hand is standard on her lower back, only there to help support her twisted ankle, and he's rattling on about how she should wear flat shoes at work so she doesn't hurt herself any further. She considers it, it isn't far to her home— she'd merely started taking a cab after the incident to avoid repeating it— and she knows their faces, their names. It's safe to assume they wouldn't attack someone who could identify them— but you never know. She decides, praying she won't regret it, to let them walk her home.

As they walk Buck wonders if maybe they should have simply waited with her for a cab. He can tell that Kitty is uneasy, he doesn't blame her. It's late and she's a lady all alone with two guys that she barely knows. He's not offend and he's sure that if Steve realized, he wouldn't be either. It's right for her to be worried, in any other situation this could be a bad picture, but luckily they're a pair of nice guys. Steve doesn't have a mean bone in his body and Bucky just wants to make sure she gets in without any more injuries. Every time he sees her, she's hurt and he's gettin real tired of it. Steve makes easy conversation with her, engaging her and keeping her focused on the walk. From time to time she pauses, seeming tired— possibly distressed. She stops at the end of a long alleyway for a moment, staring out into the dark after something they can't see. Her eyes make it clear that she's somewhere else completely. Steve notices, "Katherine?" He questions after a moment and she turns her eyes back toward them, looking lost. "Sorry," she offers after a few seconds, "I was outta my mind there for a minute."

They reach her street just a few blocks later. She stops them at the end of her block and points out which house is hers, saying her goodbyes there as not to wake her father, she tells them. Both gentlemen wish her farewell, promising to wait until she gets inside before leaving. Kitty gives them both a wave goodbye before turning and heading into her home, thankful that her father is fast asleep. That night no violence befalls her, not when she arrives at home and not on her way there. Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes are good men and for that Katherine Harris is grateful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *stand-up: good, good-natured  
> *hunk of heartbreak: attractive young man  
> *duds: clothes  
> *John: men's room, restroom (I feel like you may probably know that)  
> *fat-head: stupid or foolish person  
> *chuckle-head: unintelligent person  
> *Johnny Law: the police (I feel like you probably knew that too)
> 
> So what did you think? Leave a comment and let me know how you think it's comin'!
> 
> Also, I've decided how to end this!! I may or may not have already written it... You're gonna hate me. Probably, maybe not. Who knows. It's safe to say that three more chapters will be heading your way before this story ends and two short "extras" (because they probably won't be long enough to consider chapters, more like cut scenes). Hopefully it'll all turn out swell! Thank you all for reading!


	4. The Nearness of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky Barnes does not do well being stuck on one girl, especially one who's so frequently finding herself in trouble.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kitty and Bucky are finally getting some more interaction! Also I imagined them to be dancing to the Jo Stafford version of "The Nearness of You" but she didn't release it until '52 so it wouldn't have existed in 1940 for them to dance to, but I suppose the Glenn Miller & His Orchestra version from '40 will do! Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes?

"Hi sugar, are you rationed?" Kitty looks up from where she's seated in a lounge booth at the dance hall. It's a weeknight, so the crowd is slow, giving her the opportunity to spend her break enjoying the music and watching people dance. Beside her stands a tall brown haired, brown eyed young man giving her an expectant look. She begins to turn him down, but he cuts her off. "You're a real Sheba. How 'bout you and I cut a rug?"

On the other side of the establishment Bucky Barnes enters the dance hall by himself, " _I’m going fishin’._ " he'd told Steve earlier that evening. As he looks around the joint, he spots his favorite girl, Katherine Harris enjoying a glass of water and watching couples dancing. As he makes his way toward her, another man cuts in, startling her.

Kitty shakes her head, she doesn't want to dance, not with a stranger at least. Maybe the person she was seven months ago would have danced with him, but the person she is now, is terrified how he'll take her rejection. "Come on, dollface. I bet you're a real ducky shincracker."

Before the man can impose on her any further, Bucky cuts in, sitting down in the booth across her without any invitation. "Sorry, pal, doll's with me." The man in question looks between the two of them, clearly put off by the interruption. Kitty avoids eye contact, glad Barnes had shown up when he did. The brunette maintains eye contact with the boxer— trying to intimidate him perhaps. "Take a powder, wise guy." This time Bucky's voice is considerably less friendly, losing his temper a little bit when the man looks at Katherine again. "Scram!" The man finally seems to the hint and heads off to find a different woman to dance with.

"I seem to be thanking you a lot these days, Barnes." sighs the young woman, offering him a weak smile. "S'true. Lucky for you I'm an eager beaver." Each of them laugh, their heads turning after a moment to watch the crowd. A comfortable silence settles over them, Kitty is surprised that she's completely at ease with him. He's a real stand-up guy, for a skirt-chaser.

"You sure you wouldn't want to have a dance before your break is over?" Bucky asks her, there's this gentle tone to his voice that makes her look back over at him. "Sorry, Barnes." Shaking her head, Kitty smiles. "I'm a dead hoofer." The man sitting across from her laughs, "I don't believe that. You're too pretty to be a bad dancer."

Katherine looks out at the dance floor, watching the people swing dancing mostly in unison, briefly recalling the times she'd danced with her ex-fiancé. "I'm not that good at the jitterbug." she admits and a massive smile breaks out across Barnes' face. "I'll be right back, don't you go anywhere, Kitty-cat."

She watches him disappear across the dance floor. He returns after a long moment, having successfully requested a song from the band. After the upbeat swing song ends, a slower song begins. A number of people make their way off the floor for a drink, changing places with numerous couples, coming out to enjoy the slower tempo. "I didn't know you were in cahoots with the band." Katherine jokes, but stands up regardless, taking Bucky's hand.

They dance through two slow songs, Bucky's hand is warm on the small of her back, nearly as wide as her entire waist. Kitty feels so small before him, suddenly realizing just how much bigger he is, now that they're standing so close. One of her hands is on his shoulder, the other clasped in his as they sway back and fourth, turning in little circles. "See, doll," He leans forward, nose nearly bumping hers, his voice gentle, "You're knockin it out."

There's this almost tense moment where Katherine avoids his eyes, glances down at the wood of the dance floor, watches their shoes stepping back and forth to the music. She's shy, he realizes. "You're not so bad yourself, Barnes." Bucky chuckles, breath puffing against her cheek, glad their usual banter has returned. "I'll have you know, I'm a regular Fred Astaire, Miss Harris." The couple laughs.

"Sorry, I'm no Ginger Rogers." Kitty comments and Bucky shakes his head, nose brushing hers this time. "I've already got a Rogers," He jokes and she knows he means Steve. "And, he's not much of a dancer either." She smiles, giggling genuinely. No wonder so many girls were over the moon for Bucky Barnes. He's got such effortless, devilish charm that Kitty finds it difficult not to get swept off her feet by him.

The hand on her back pulls her flush with him and Bucky leans his forehead against hers. Neither of them moves away. As the song continues, they keep dancing in a steady rhythm, joined hands no longer held up away from them, as he folds their arms and brings their clasped hands closer to his chest. The song is coming to end, Katherine knows, but she almost doesn't want it to. Bucky sure doesn't want it to.

As the final notes wither out across the dance floor and a faster tempo returns, he finally separates from her, a grin plastered on his mouth. "I should probably be getting back to work." Kitty says for good measure, tempted to continue dancing with him for the rest of the evening, even now that the jive music is back in full swing. Bucky nods, letting her fingers slip free from his, and watching her disappear from the dance floor.

He winds up sitting at the bar with a couple of buddies. Robbie Thompson is there with a few of their other acquaintances, Willie Jones, Ed Wilson, Walter Brown. The five of them spend the evening shooting giggle water, sharing a few laughs. The rest of the evening he can't seem to bring himself to invite any other dames for a dance, even turning down a couple who invite him themselves. Come closing time, Bucky sobers up outside the hall, waiting for Kitty to finish up. She comes out after ten or fifteen minutes, seeming surprised to see him still there.

"I wanted to make sure you didn't need somebody to walk you home again." He admits, feeling a little timid for some reason he can't put his finger on. Katherine is grateful, but declines, gesturing to the taxi on stand-by across the street. She has cabbie arrangement on her regular nights, she explains. Last time she was supposed to have been off and didn't have the time to call her cabbie before going over to the dance hall. Bucky understands, silently glad that she isn't usually walking home in the dead of night by herself. As he waves off her cab James Buchanan Barnes realizes that if he hadn't been carrying a torch for her before tonight, he sure as hell is stuck on her now.

  
He attempts to remedy this feeling of being completely and utterly clobbered by Katherine Harris by going on dates. There's something about the memory. Her soft brown hair, enchanting hazel eyes, the way his hand felt on the small of her back. The deep sapphire color of the dress she'd worn, how beautiful she'd been in the dim dance hall lights. The effortless swaying back and forth to an easy tune, the touches gentle, innocent. How easily he'd gotten lost in the feel of her, without any of the general flirtation that his usual endeavors entail.

He tries to recreate that feeling on each of his numerous dates, but nothing seems to work. Not dance after dance with various pretty broads, not a handful of heated kisses shared with knockout dollies, not even getting into bed with a record number of gals. The problem, he suspects, lies in the lack of a certain pretty hash-slinger, but he won't admit that. Not to her and not to himself.

Which is how he ends up at the dance hall with a brunette on his arm, named Mary-Alice. She's a total dolly, real pretty and shy. Her hair is done back in a pompadour and she's wearing cute, frilly pink dress. She hasn't been on many dates, she admits, but is an awful good dancer. They have fun, but she doesn't take to kindly to the way he likes to throw back whiskey. She's a little too stiff for him, a moralist goody two-shoes, _bluenosed_ , he decides.

So like a nice gentleman he walks her home when she tells him she needs to head out— "I've stayed out later than I should" she says, but it isn't quite even closing time yet. He sees her off friendly, but doesn't kiss her goodnight. He likes his girls a little more on the mug-bug side— all of 'em except Kitty.

Mary-Alice's house is the opposite direction of his shared apartment with Steve, so he makes his way back toward the hall, now all locked up, and doesn't see any around. Bucky shoves his hands in his coat pocket. Brooklyn is cold now, already mid-November. He jaywalks through the street across from a bar, patrons inside still going about loudly despite the hour.

As he passes the split— one direction leading to the apartment, the other toward Kitty's house— Bucky hears shouting, the angry bellowing of a man and the wailing of a woman. He takes off toward the commotion without hesitation, becoming furious when he comes upon the scene.

Katherine Harris stands barefoot in the fall chill, cowering on the other side of a street lamp from a drunk man, who looks to be in his early thirties. Bucky zones in on him, his angry fist delivering one good punch to the drunkard's face, and knocking him out with trained boxing champion precision. Bucky let's out a howl, kicking the unconscious man's side, furious. "Should I call the cops, Kitty? I'm gonna call the damn cops, this son of a bitch— What were you doing walking home by your damn self, little lady?! I swear to god—" Her hand comes out and takes his, soothing the fire burning inside of him on contact.

"Could you just," Kitty starts, "Could you just take me home, Barnes?" Her voice is soft, fragile, vulnerable. The fury seeps out his shoulders and he frowns, "Okay, sweetheart. But, first let's find your shoes." She nods, tucks herself into his side and absentmindedly leads him across the street and back half a block. One of her shoes is lying in the street and the other on the sidewalk.

Bucky leads her to a bench outside of a barbershop— which is closed at that hour— and sits her down, kneeling on the concrete in front of her. Katherine's feet are cold when he picks them up to dust them off, he warms them with his hands for a moment, looking up at her face. The look in her eyes is far away again, like at the end of the alleyway that night when he and Steve had walked her home.

He carefully slides each of the patent leather continental high heels onto her tiny feet and makes sure they're secure. He looks at her again, taking her hands into his own front where they rest on her lap. "Katherine," Bucky begins gently, "Why were you walking home alone? What about your cabbie?"

The woman blinks, slowly coming back from that far off place again, her eyebrows furrowing. "It was last minute..." Kitty tells him, "I wasn't supposed to work tonight."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Are you rationed?: Are you taken? Are you going steady?  
> *Sheba: A woman with sex appeal (from the move Queen of Sheba)  
> *Cut a rug, cut the rug: dance  
> *I’m going fishin’: I’m looking for a date  
> *Joint: a club, usually selling alcohol (feel like you probably knew that)  
> *Ducky shincracker: good dancer  
> *Take a powder: to leave, get lost, lay off  
> *Wise guy: a smart-ass (I think that one you probably knew too)  
> *Eager-beaver: enthusiastic helper  
> *Dead hoofer: bad dance  
> *Jitterbug: a fast dance popular in the 1940's, performed chiefly to swing music  
> *Knockin' it out: dance amazingly  
> *Fred Astaire: an American dancer, singer, actor, choreographer, musician, and television presenter, popular during the 30's  
> *Ginger Rogers: an American actress, dancer, and singer known for dance films in which she was partnered with Fred Astaire, popular during the 30's  
> *Jive: a lively style of dance popular especially in the 1940's and 1950's, performed to swing music or rock and roll  
> *Giggle water: an intoxicating beverage; alcohol  
> *Carrying a torch/stuck on/clobbered: to have a crush on someone  
> *Hash-slinger: a waitress  
> *Blusenose(d): an excessively puritanical person, a prude  
> *Mug-bug: girl who gives in easily, a loose woman
> 
> I cut this shorter chapter than I'd intended it to be in my plot-points, but I'm still pretty happy with it, what about you lot? What do think? Do you like Bucky? What are your feelings about Kitty? Let me know how it's going and as always, thank you kindly for reading!!


	5. You Go to My Head

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine doesn't need someone who always knows exactly what to say, what to do. She justs needs someone who'll be there. Bucky Barnes thinks he can be that person. Hell, he'll be damned if he isn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I should stick this somewhere for good measure: Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine (at least most of it, but not after the eventually tie-in with TFA).
> 
> I usually cover a broader time period in each chapter, but this one only occurs over a single night. Fun fact: the title is after a Frank Sinatra favorite of mine.
> 
> Also, Warning: there's mention of past rape in this chapter, but it's not graphic. She doesn't even come out and say it, but it's still implied.
> 
> Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes?

Warm breath puffs in the frigid air of the late November midnight, the cold chilling Katherine Harris to her bones. She leans further into the side of her savior, tucks herself into the curl of his supportive arm wrapped around her shoulders, folds into herself.

Bucky brings her closer, hoping to share his warmth with the frightened brunette tucked against his hip. They walk slowly down the street, huddled close. Kitty's gaze is far away again when he looks down to check on her, a lost look in her hazel irises, swirling with wet as she sinks deeper, off into a place he can't reach her.

He concludes that while there are many things he doesn't know about her, he does know that something about walking the stretch of street from the dance hall to her home and being harassed by men, triggers a distant abyss in her eyes. Bucky tries not to assume the worst about it, that anger settling in his gut. Even when she's trying to do the right thing, danger is keen on seeking her out.

She tells him, after explaining that tonight is usually one of her nights off, that she'd been waiting at a pay phone for the taxi she'd rang when the drunk man had appeared before her. That particular pay phone hadn't booth that closed, so there'd been locking the door and waiting it out, her only choice had been running. But, of course, the man had quickly caught up. He hadn't hurt her, hadn't the time before Bucky had rounded the corner, but they both shudder at what could have occurred.

Katherine is still lost in that vast empty abyss by the time they make it to the end of her street. When he pulls her to a stop, she blinks coming back to the present. Bucky Barnes is with her, concern etched on his handsome face. "Let me walk you to your door."

She begins to refuse, it would be trouble, she could sense it, but Bucky insists. "For my own peace of mind at least, Kitty." Considering for a moment, she glances at her wristwatch. It's already well past midnight, her father would be passed out drunk in his bed by this hour. Despite herself, Katherine allows it.

Bucky offers her his arm, which she accepts, anxiety seeping back into her bones as they make the trek to her door. The house is only a few houses from the end of the block, so they're standing in front of her door on the stoop of her family home in no time. "Thank you, Barnes."

The latter has this strained smile on his face, "Don't thank me, Kitty-cat. I hate to think if I'd been late." She flinches at the thought, she knows what would have happened... again... if he hadn't come. "The next time you need company, whether it be waiting for a cab or walking you back, please let me know, Katherine. I don't wanna see you getting hurt."

 

 _God_ , Bucky Barnes is a good man. Her heart swells, reaching out to take his hand, clasping it in hers and trying to wordlessly convey how deeply grateful she is for him. Kitty doesn't even recognize the sound of movement behind the front door until it's ripped open, startling her to see her very drunk, very furious father standing there in his night clothes.

The instant it begins to open, Bucky sidesteps the door, standing out of view from whoever had opened it. His boxing reflexes often come in handy when dodging his dates' angry parents, siblings, roommates, etc. "Where the hell have you been?" Comes the voice of an older man, Kitty's father he assumes.

Bucky moves back when the man takes a step outside and all of a sudden now that he's closer he can smell the liquor radiating off of the man, bottle clutched in one hand. "You think you can do whatever the hell ya want, huh?!" her father begins, full-out hollering on the front step of the house in the middle of the night. Katherine visibly flinches, attempting to shush him, which only makes the man angrier.

"Big girl, all grown up, workin' just like her momma!" Emmett exclaims, "Couldn't hang onto that man though, could ya?! All grown but got no ambition!" Bucky can see Kitty glance at him, before focusing on her father again. "Just gonna marry him and gobble up all his money! He knew, that Eugene, he knew!" Her father rants, "Took off with that other broad because he knew you're just like your momma, an embarrassment!" There are tears in her eyes, as she reaches out and steadies her drunken father. "You're right, pa... Let's go in, you'll wake the neighbors."

That appears to be the wrong thing to say, because he shoves her, "Let 'em hear!" He slurs and Bucky resists the urge to step in. "They all know! Just like your momma! Useless!" The older man is fully screaming, Kitty shushing him desperately, "Pa!" She exclaims, trying to wrangle his attention. In a flash, faster than either she or Bucky can comprehend, Emmett strikes her. "How dare you raise your voice at me, you bitch!"

This is the final straw for Bucky, as he makes himself known, pushing to separate Katherine from her father. "Now you're bringin' home men, you tramp?! You're just like your ma!" The older man hollers and Barnes shoves him. The older man loses his balance, dazed as he falls on his ass. Bucky wants to hit him, really wants to knock him out like the drunk man from down the street. But, Kitty's hand is on his arm and she's protesting, pleading with him to just go home. Like hell would he leave her here.

"Let's get outta here, you're coming with me." Bucky insists, the tone of his voice says there's no room for argument, but she tries. "No, Katherine!" He bellows, unable to control the anger that's been bubbling in his stomach since he'd saved her earlier. "I said I don't wanna see you getting hurt anymore! This counts as getting hurt, damn it!"

There's a pause where Kitty just stares at him, weighing her options. "But I— At least let me get my clothes." She agrees quietly. Behind them Emmett finally gathers himself off of the ground and lunges for them, "You ain't goin' no place!" He screams.

Bucky moves them aside, the drunk man narrowly missing them as Bucky nudges her off the stoop and down the street. "Well come back for those clothes, okay, Kitty?" He offers, pulling her along as her father hobbles after them. "You're just like your momma!" A bottles shatters somewhere behind them as they run down the street, having been thrown by the drunk man.

They round the corner, running for several blocks before the air in her lungs is burning and Kitty tugs the hand she's holding, making Bucky slow to a stop. They catch their breath, him watching her closely all the while. Her cheek is red, bruising, but there's a half-grin on her face when she looks up at him. "Thank you, Bucky." He grins in return. It's the first time she's called him that.

 

  
"Oww!" Katherine whines in a whisper, trying to be quiet as not to wake Steve, who's asleep in his room. Kitty is seated on the kitchen counter of Bucky and Steve's shared apartment, flinching at the ice compress that Bucky had pressed into her cheek.

The latter only smirks at her, pulling back to gather her shoe-clad feet in his hand, unbuckling her high heels one by one and removing them. He sets them quietly on the floor before, leaning back against her, his stomach flush with her knees. Bucky and Kitty watch each other for a long moment, eyes locked in a staring contest that Katherine loses first. She flinches again when he reaches up to take the compress from her cheek, eyes cast down to avoid his as he looks over the purpling stain on her cheekbone.

"You saw earlier..." Kitty begins, still refusing to look at him. "My old man's a drunk, liked to knock my ma around." Her voice is quiet as she speaks, broken. There are tears in her eyes, but she doesn't cry. "So when she met this fella from Atlantic City—" his nose wrinkles at the mention of New Jersey, making the puff of a laugh escape her momentarily, "—she took off with him. Now he likes to knock me around instead." She sounds sad, her voice cracking toward the end, like shattered glass. It breaks Bucky's heart.

"That's all a crock'a shit he was spoutin', you know?" He tells her, makes her hold his gaze. "You aren't useless." Katherine gives him this bitter smile, nodding quietly, "I know. But, when you get put down enough it begins to feel like the truth." Neither of them say anything more about the matter. She doesn't want to admit the disaster that is her family, her life.

Bucky seems to be able to sense that. Instead of prying he reaches behind him in the cupboard, fishes out a bottle and a bowl, where he places vinegar and water. He scoops up a dish rag and digs it in the solution, rubbing to wet spot on her tender cheek. "You know, I'm glad you heard me hollering earlier, Barnes..." Kitty's voice is small, that endless abyss filling her eyes again. "Last time nobody came to save me."

At first Bucky thinks she means with her father and he thinks, of course he would have stopped him, he wasn't just about to stand there and let him beat her. The memory floods his mind and he almost loses his temper all over again. Her father bellowing, the way he'd hit her, her desperate attempts to calm him, quiet him to keep from waking the neighbors. Then it dawns on him.

She hadn't been hollering. At her father's house she'd only raised her voice but once. But, she'd been hollering earlier that night. Further down the street, barefoot, hiding behind the lamp post, from some drunk who'd attacked her. It hits him like a freight train.

When he looks up at her, she isn't looking back and he has no idea what to do or say. Instead he does the only thing that comes to his mind, comforts her. He leans forward, like the time they danced, and bumps her nose with his. Timidly, just enough to get her attention, before pulling back a reasonable distance. When her hazel eyes meet his blue, the corners are wet.

His throat is dry, his tongue to heavy to speak. What the hell is he even supposed to say? He knows that nothing he offers could possibly heal her, nothing he can say will change what happened to her. "You don't have to say anything," She tells him softly, takes his hand. "Just being here is enough." Bucky's grateful for that, because _God, he doesn't want to mess this up_. So he fully takes her hands in both of his, "Well, I'm not going anywhere, Kitty-cat."

Bucky lends her a button-down shirt of his and shows her to his bedroom. It's small and not very tidy. Not excessively organized like Steve's, but not a pigsty either. There are a couple of shirts he'd already worn tossed in a corner, sketches and newspapers spread out on his desk, and a pair of boxing gloves dangling over his desk chair.

He honestly feels nervous having her in here, he doesn't bring women back to his apartment— they tend to try and stick around come the morning after— and his mother and sisters don't really enter his bedroom when they visit. Katherine is the first girl that's ever been inside.

He bids her goodnight, tells her he'll see her in the morning, and closes the door behind him. That night he goes to sleep on the sofa or tries to. Bucky spends a couple hours thinking over the beautiful waitress asleep in his bed and how easily she affects him.

He ponders over whether he gets so worked up because it's _her_ or because everytime he sees her she's in trouble. He doesn't think she'd appreciate being considered a damsel in distress, but it seems he's always saving her. He wouldn't admit it if someone asked, but he likes to think it's fate, no matter how twisted. He just hopes he'll always be around to back her up whenever she may need or want it.

 

In the morning when Steven Rogers rolls out of bed, he's confused to hear humming coming from the kitchen. He puts on his house pants and a tee shirt before seeking out the source. Maybe Bucky's mom had come over or one of his sisters. This is not the case, he discovers.

He spots Bucky as he enters the living room, still passed out on the couch with a blanket thrown over him. On the other side of the room, in the kitchen area, is a brunette dressed in a convertible suit— though the jacket isn't on, thrown haphazardly over a kitchen chair. For a moment he thinks it might be the third Barnes sibling, the sister a who's only a year younger than him. But, the woman's height and shape is just slightly off for it to be Maxie Barnes.

The woman turns around still humming some tune— Judy Garland, Steve recognizes, something from _The Wizard of Oz_ — and jumps a bit when she spots him stand there, the metal spatula in her hand clattering to the tile and waking up Bucky on the couch.

Katherine Harris is standing in their kitchen cooking them breakfast. A thousand thoughts run through his mind, the first being did she sleep with his best friend, but quickly crosses that possibility out. He was sleeping on the couch after all and Steve doesn't really believe the rumors about her, neither does Buck.

"You startled me, Stevie." Kitty laughs, picking up the utensil and washing it clean before returning to the stove. It's all so casual, like it's not the first time she's ever been in their apartment. "Sorry, doll." He walks over to the kitchen table, watching her. "You startled me too. Hate to sound rude, but what are you doing here? How come you're making breakfast?"

Bucky joins Steve beside the table, rubbing the sleep from his eye. "I've got it covered, Kitty. You keep on cookin'." He stretches and yawns before directing his best friend back into his bedroom. "Come on, buddy. I need your opinion on somethin'."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crock of shit: bullshit, lies (I feel that was obvious. I also think people still may use that, because I do.)  
> *Convertible suit: women's suit featuring a jacket, a short skirt and a blouse, which doubled as an evening ensemble when worn without the jacket. (This is usually what Kitty wears, aside from her waitress uniform, that way it's always appropriate for her job at the dance hall.)
> 
> As per suggestion, I'm going to cut back on the use of slang outside of the characters' dialogue. Not too terribly much, but enough. This chapter didn't have much because all the scenes were pretty heavy, so I didn't think it was appropriate.
> 
> I cut this chapter shorter than I'd intended it to be in my plot-points, just like the last one, but meh. Also by this time it's November of 1940, meaning there is a one year and four month period between this chapter and the time that Bucky ships off in Captain America: The First Avenger. Meaning sooner than you think this story will be coming to an end! Hope you all stick around for the next few chapters and mini-chapters.
> 
> Let me know how you think it's coming! What are your hopes for Bucky and Kitty's relationship? What do you think will happen? And as always, thank you for reading!


	6. Sugar Sweet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky picks up Kitty's broken pieces and, with the help of his family, molds them into something new.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We finally get to meet Bucky's mother and sisters in this chapter! Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes?

The opinion his best friend needed, Steve learns, is what he thinks they should do about Kitty. After learning about what happened with her father, Steve is mortified and furious. Bucky can hardly blame the little guy. The scrawny blonde gets red in the face, standing from where he sat on his bed and pacing back and forth.

"She could stay here," Steve suggests, "We could move your stuff in here and give her your room. She'd be safe with us." The idea makes Bucky smile. He'd like that, at least he would be sure she'd be safe, but he knows that wouldn't be acceptable. "People'll talk." Bucky says, shaking his head.

If Kitty didn't already have a bum rap as it is, being a young, unmarried woman living with two single, non-blood related men would certainly get the hearsay going. That wouldn't fly— not in 1940 at least. But, Steve has the right idea, he suddenly realizes. "But, we could talk to my ma."

Steve pauses in his pacing, grinning widely at him, "Buck, you're brilliant." Bucky's mother would certainly be willing to help Katherine out and the extra bedroom would the perfect place for her to heal and get her life back together. Steve feels relief spread through him, glad that they won't have to worry for the girl's safety any further.

The boys return to the kitchen after almost fifteen minutes. Kitty is standing over the stove, waiting for whatever she's baking in their oven to finish cooking, there's a worried look on her face when she makes eye contact with Bucky. He can guess what about. He hadn't told Steve about what she'd told him the night before. He knows it'd been difficult for her to tell him. It was a private admission between the two of them and if she wanted Steve to know, she would tell him herself. So, he hadn't.

On the table are three sets of silverware and three plates, each with scrambled eggs and bacon waiting on them. "Have a seat boys, I'm about done." Katherine finally says, as she turns off the oven and opens up the door. Bucky and Steve obey, sitting side by side and watching her remove a bread pan from inside the oven. "What'd you bake, Kitty-cat?"

The little woman grins over at him, before opening their cupboard and searching around a bit, "A Cinnamon Flop." She answers, turning back toward them, "Where are your saucers?" Steve chuckles at her, spotting the flour on her forehead, "The other door." Katherine makes a pleased sound when she opens the other cupboard door and pulls out three saucers. She cuts and plates the streusel topped pastry, balancing all three plates with attuned waitress precision before joining them at the table.

 

She sits across from the two of them, putting her own saucer down before placing the other two in front of Bucky and Steve. Kitty is an excellent baker they discover, having scraped up a delicious pastry out of just the simple ingredients in their kitchen. Neither of the men really bake, though they can. Bucky occasionally makes bread, sometimes Steve makes simple muffins, but usually any baked goods the boys receive come from Buck's mom or sisters.

"Why aren't you a baker?" Bucky teases, reaching across the table to wipe the flour from Kitty's cheek. She smiles, tilts her head cutely. "I'm glad you guys like it. I was almost worried I'd have to make something else, you didn't have any cinnamon and hardly enough sugar." Steve gives her a questioning look. "Your neighbor was kind enough to lend me some when I asked." She explains.

Ah, old Mrs. Johnson is probably going out of her mind wondering who the pretty girl is and what her business is in their apartment this early in the morning. "Did she interrogate you first?" Steve asks and Kitty nods enthusiastically. "Oh yes, she had to know exactly who I was and was sure to lecture me on the etiquette of visiting two bachelors unescorted before ultimately handing them over." She sounds serious, but there's a grin on her face.

"She'll warm up to you." Bucky assures, all three of them laughing. "Has she even warmed up to you?" Steve quips in return, making Kitty laugh harder as Bucky feigns offense, clasping a hand over his chest and making a scandalised face, but the younger man makes a good point.

Mrs. Johnson is a strange, nosey old biddy, who isn't fond of anyone besides her two cats and her granddaughter, Hannah— who visits twice a week and is (unsurprisingly) enamored with Bucky. This likely adds to the old woman's disdain for him. "I like her." Katherine announces, looking across the table at him with a challenging look, making Bucky shake his head. Of course she would.

After breakfast Steve offers to help with clean up, but Bucky cuts him off, jumping up to gather the dishes, telling his best friend that it's covered. Steve gets ready for the day, leaving him and Katherine to it. She nudges him out of the way and begins doing the dishes. "I can do them, Kitty." He insists, "Why don't you quit your whinin' and dry while I wash, okay big guy?" So that's what they do.

Afterwards when the dishes are all put away and Katherine is wrapping up the leftover pastry, Bucky leans back against the counter beside her. "I didn't tell him, ya know." He says quietly, watches the way she passes under his stare. "About what you said last night, just told him what happened with your old man." Kitty releases a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, relaxes considerably. "I didn't think you would want me to." She nods, leans her head over against his shoulder. Bucky smiles, knows he made the right decision, leans his head against hers. "Now about your living arrangements."

 

  
Katherine is going to faint or run out the room, she isn't sure which. She has no idea know she let Barnes talk her into this. She should leave, she should walk out right now. Kitty can feel herself sweating, knows her cheeks are pink. What the hell is she doing here?

Bucky sits beside her on the couch of his family home, opposite of his mother and two of his three sisters. He glances down at Katherine who is clearly nervous, panicking even. He looks to his mother, Winifred, who shares a sympathetic look with him. From the kitchen his fourth sister, the youngest, returns carrying a tray with a teapot and cups for all of them.

His mother pours tea for herself, then for him and Katherine, before his middle sister takes over and pours tea for everyone else. Winnie pushes the teacup toward the anxious girl, smiling kindly. Though still feeling skittish, Kitty forces a smile and accepts the drink, thanking her quietly. Bucky relaxes a bit when she takes a drink, seeming to calm a bit, before placing it back on the coffee table in front of them.

"Ma, this is Katherine Harris, a friend of mine and Steve's." He explains, his eyes flicking to the subject of the conversation briefly before continuing, "She's in a real bad place right now and I'm not okay with her going back home, but she can't stay with me and Steve, so I thought maybe—" His mother cuts him off, nodding, placing her teacup on the table as well. Bucky feels Kitty stiffen beside him.

"You thought this would be a better place for her." He nods enthusiastically. "Okay, Buck." His mother says easily. _That's it?_ Katherine thinks, so sure she'd be shot down. That's all it would take to get his mother to accept her into their home, so easily? "T-that's all? You'll really allow me to stay with you?" She regrets speaking the moment she does it, visibly flinching.

Bucky puts a comforting hand on her arm, he knows she's nervous. Across from him Winnie nods, reaches over the teacups to take one of Kitty's hands. "I happen to know my son very well, Miss Katherine. And, while I know that he changes girls as often he changes underwear—" she narrows her eyes at him and he rubs the back of his neck in response, "— I also know that you must be pretty important to him, because he never introduces us to any of his lady friends. And, he most certainly doesn't invite them to live with us."

Kitty understands, but is still apprehensive. "I— I don't know how to thank you." She admits, looks up at his mother with furrowed eyebrows. "Well for starters you can tell us some about yourself, and get introduced with Bucky's sisters, and later the three of us can have a private conversation about why my son is so worried he'd want to put you up with his Momma." And, if those are the only terms that come with a fresh start, then Katherine can accept that.

So she does as she's told, introduces herself by her full name, summarizes her origins as easily she can, and tells them the more important things. How she'd come to know Bucky and Steve, her work at the diner and the dance hall, her love for baking. By the time she finishes, Kitty is significantly more relaxed, smiling. She's glad Bucky brought her here.

 

Katherine is formally introduced to Winnie, who she learns is a widow— Bucky will later tell her that his father, George, died in a work accident only a few years after the birth of his youngest sister. She thens is introduced to all three of his younger sisters. Then eldest being Rebecca, a twenty-one year old newlywed, who no longer lives in the home, but visits almost daily. His next sister is nineteen year old Maxine, who graduated from high school the year before and was in her first year of training to become a nurse. Bucky's youngest sister, Rosemary, is seventeen years old and still in high school.

Katherine gets along with the Barnes family famously. Winifred is always welcoming and kind to her. Talking to the sweet older woman always opens up the floodgates for her. Winnie eventually learns about the abuse at the hands of her father, later about the attack that had happened at the end of April, about her mother leaving, about her wedding being called off. Some how Bucky's mother becomes her most trusted confidante, a substitute for the mother who'd abandoned her, a best friend. She too comes to consider Kitty Harris as a daughter of her own.

Katherine and Rebecca are the same age and like similar things. She thinks that Becky is a lot like the person she would have become if she'd gotten married to Eugene (and he hadn't been cheating on her). She's always happy and smiling, still clinging to the newlywed glee. Sometimes Kitty envies that.

Maxine, though often busy with her studies to becoming a nurse, takes to Katherine the quickest. She tries a slice of cake she'd baked and falls in love. "She can never leave!" Maxie would declare, pastries stuffed in her cheeks, "She's a better baker than you, Mom."

Rosemary is the only sister who is hesitant of Kitty, being the youngest. She hadn't been able to be a daddy's girl growing up, so she'd clung to Bucky in their father's stead. Needless to say at first she doesn't consider Katherine anymore that another one of Bucky's girls. It isn't until she overhears their banter, sees the way her brother gravitates to her, watches how effortlessly she fits in beside him and Steve. One night Rosie knocks on Kitty's bedroom door— Bucky's childhood bedroom— with homework in hand and let's herself in. It quickly becomes habit, helping the youngest sister with her school work.

Life with the Barnes family and Steve Rogers is sugar sweet for Katherine Harris. She lives and grows and heals. Picks up her all her broken pieces and instead of putting them back together in the same old order, she builds something new. Kitty forgives and forgets. Paints herself a whole new person to become, someone who doesn't cling to terror and despair, doesn't cower from the fear of fists or night walks home. And, she has Bucky Barnes to thank for that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Bum rap: a false accusation  
> *Hearsay: rumors  
> *Cinnamon Flop: coffee cake
> 
> Well here we are, another chapter! We finally meet Bucky's family! The MCU Wikia states that Bucky is the eldest of four siblings, but doesn't mention them any further. I decided to keep the names of his parents (Winifred and George) and his sister (Rebecca) from the Earth-616 verse. Though in the comic his mother dies when he's young and his father dies in an accident while in basic training, I just like to incorporate fun facts into some of my work. As for Maxie and Rosie, I just looked up most common names from the year they were born. The MCU Wikia is also where Bucky being a boxer comes from in this story, if anyone was wondering. By this time in the story WWII has already begun, soon the United States will be joining and Bucky will be shipping off. Soooooooon! Thank you for reading, dearies.


	7. December Seventh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Calm, tranquil, serene only lasts as long as autumn does. Winter is cold, savage, cruel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine (at least most of it, but not after the eventually tie-in with TFA).
> 
> I took a three day break, sorry dearies! I had two wonderful days with friends and then like life does, when anything seems to be going well, it hits you with the worst and most terrible news it can conjure. Were I a person that handled things like emotions according to the manner of average people, then I would most likely be taking a break from writing. Lucky for you, I'm don't and I can't, and I'll most likely be using writing as an excuse to pretend like this week didn't happen, but I digress... Unbeta-ed so sorry for any mistakes?

Early morning light shines through the lace half-curtains draped over windows in the Barnes family kitchen as Kitty stands over the stove, stirring the glaze for a bundt cake. The home is quiet, motionless, the rest of the house still lying asleep.

Katherine hums to herself, swaying to the tune as she opens up the oven door and pulls the cake pan out. A creak sounds on the stairs, light footfalls against the kitchen, and then Winifred emerges through the threshold. It's nearly six in the morning, and there Kitty stands, baking at a time far earlier than even the head of the household is awake.

Winnie shakes her head, smiling joins the girl at the counter, and wordlessly helping her glaze the blueberry buttermilk bundt cake. Katherine is an excellent baker. On the counter are four other cakes, two german chocolate and two the same blueberry flavor, the fifth one intended for the family to keep. In the year since Kitty had come to them she'd taken more to her love of baking.

She grows close to the kind old couple that own the local bakery she passes on her way to work, the same old man who would gives her bread each morning. They mention the thought of adding more dessert to their menu, which leads to Katherine's generous donation of various baked goods every other morning. The diner too, puts her pastries on the menu, which is why the twenty-two year old had awoken before sunrise to bake.

Kitty places a clean pan on the on the front burner of the stove, whips up omelets while Winnie sets the table for breakfast. As the sun rises higher, the Barnes siblings make their way downstairs. Maxine first, already dressed and ready for the day, followed by Rosemary, still in her robe and pajamas. A knock sounds on the door and Winifred lets in Steve and her son, who join them on the mornings that Kitty needs help carrying her baked goods.

Katherine greets each man with a hug, choosing in the presence of his mother and siblings, to ignore the kiss Bucky presses to her cheek. Maxie snorts, rolling her eyes at the two of them, but saying nothing as she continues eating. They all settle in for breakfast and when they're finished they leave the dishes to Winnie and Maxine, pulling on their coats and gathering the cake boxes, Bucky, Steve, and Kitty say their farewells.

They walk shoulder to shoulder down the sidewalks of Red Hook, the pretty brunette in the middle, each of them toting a cake in their arms. Bucky carries two boxes at a time, still more concerned about Katherine and her heels on the slick winter sidewalk, than his own heavier load. They drop two boxes off at the Alvino Bakery and the sweet, old Italian couple rewards them each with a cornetto to eat on their way to the diner.

Since leaving her father's Kitty no longer works the opening shift at the diner, so it's nearly eight o'clock when they arrive. Bucky and Steve place the two remaining cakes on the counter and she thanks them as she always does, getting in her hugs— and kisses upon the cheek from Bucky— before bidding them both farewell. She promises to meet them at their afternoon art class, waves them off from the door, watches them disappear down the street with a smile. Katherine loves her new life.

Things have changed so much in the year since leaving her father's home, her routine changing significantly. She returns to a one shift a day schedule at the diner. No longer opening in the morning, she starts around 8am and gets off by lunchtime, returns to the Barnes family home to join Winnie for lunch. They spend the day talking and doing chores together. In the afternoons she bakes, occasionally joining Steve in the art classes he enjoys attending. In the evening either she or Winnie make dinner, which Steve and Bucky usually join them for— unless she goes to their apartment and cooks there instead. And, before retiring for the evening she helps Rosie with her school work. Kitty no longer works at the dance hall, the only time she goes is when Bucky insists upon taking her.

 

In the months since becoming a bonafide Barnes family member, her own tries to tidy things up. She forgives them, but let's them know she won't forget. Let's the fact hang in the air that things can never go back to the way that they were, she won't allow it. But, that doesn't mean she wouldn't give them the opportunity to repair it. Her father gets clean, or tries, he works really hard. Gets a stable job, puts alcohol out of the house, asks her to come home. She doesn't. Because she's her own damn person now and she decides. He seems to accept that, is content to having dinner with her once a week. Her mother shows herself, finally after having run off, and surprisingly it's her that Kitty has a harder time accepting back into the fold. Cecilia lives in New Jersey now, with her boyfriend and his own thirteen year old daughter. She bitterly, but happily, sees them three times a month.

Katherine overcomes a great deal of fear, of that girl that once lived inside her like a puppet. Katherine pulls all her own strings now, like a real person. Expresses all her emotions, be it anger, sadness, happiness. The only thing she doesn't express is love. Not truly. She loves Steve, and Winnie, each of Bucky's sisters, and of course the men in question himself. But, it's different.

Is she in love with James Buchanan Barnes? Certainly. Does he love her back? She's nearly positive so. But are the two of them a couple? They aren't. And, to be honest, Kitty is alright with it that way. She feels that if he wanted them to go steady, he would say. She feels that if she tells him, how deeply, madly, impossibly in love she is, that it'll all slip right through her fingers.

She doesn't know that Bucky feels much the same. Being in love is a terrifying first for Bucky Barnes. He's sure he had another first love, maybe in middle school or high school, back when he first became doll dizzy, but it's nothing like this. Nothing like the way Katherine Lucia takes over his every instinct. However, Bucky does nothing about it. About the way his heart swells just looking at her, watching her interact with Steve, and his mother, and his sisters. Like she's a part them, part of their family.

He thinks that one day, when he's more grown, when he's a better man, and she's all healed from the pain of the last year, he'll do right by her. Until that time he's content with the grazes, the light touches, the way she leans into his side, the kisses on the cheek. It doesn't change who he is, a ladies man, a skirt chaser, but it sure takes a toll a the number of broads he sees. None of them are Katherine. No matter how many he wines, dines, dances with, or takes to bed none of them are the pretty brunette that is best friends with his mother, loves his sisters like family, and treats Steve like a brother of her own.

Despite the strange dynamic of her and Bucky's relationship, Kitty is happy. She loves her life, is thankful for having them all in it. Life is simple now, carefree. She hopes that it can remain that way, but unfortunately, things never can. That afternoon the three best friend sit side by side in an art class, each of them working on the assigned still-life piece before them. In the background the instructor has the radio on, pleasant easy-listening music flows out and through the classroom. The mood is relaxed, mellow, easygoing. Soft jazz plays as each student swipes their pencils across their sketchpads.

  
In an instant the calm, serene day is torn from them by the sound of a record being cut midway, the voice of an announcer rips through the tranquil early December evening.

>   _"We interrupt this program to bring you a special news bulletin. The Japanese have attacked Pearl Harbor, Hawaii by air, President Roosevelt has just announced. The attack was also made on naval and military activities on the principal island of Oahu. We take you now to Washington."_

In the momentary silence Steve and Bucky glance at each other, as a kind of panic seems to set deep within everyone who hears the broadcast.

> _"The details are not available, they will in a few minutes. The White House is now giving out a statement. The attack apparently was made on all naval and military activities on the principal island of Oahu. The president's brief statement was read to reporters by Stephen Early, the president's secretary. A Japanese attack upon Pearl Harbor, naturally, would mean war. Such an attack would naturally bring a counter attack, and hostilities of this kind would naturally mean that the president would ask Congress for a declaration of war. There is no doubt, from the temper of Congress, that such a declaration would be granted."_

And, just like that, so sudden, so unexpectedly, everything changes. Their art class is cut short, following such a broadcast. Everyone goes home to their families, fearful at the thought of war. Only twenty-three years earlier had that last war ended, so many still shaken from so great a loss, so many families torn apart.

Steve and Bucky sit in the living room of the Barnes family home, Kitty planted between them, the entire family— including Rebecca and her husband— listen to The First Lady's Pearl Harbor radio address. Fear instills itself in her, her hand lacing with Bucky's as she listens to Eleanor Roosevelt's words.

> _"—a word to the women in the country tonight. I have a boy at sea on a destroyer, for all I know he may be on his way to the Pacific. Two of my children are in coast cities on the Pacific. Many of you, all over the country, have boys in the services who will now be called upon to go into action. You have friends and families in what has suddenly become a danger zone. You cannot escape anxiety. You cannot escape a clutch of fear at your heart and yet I hope that the certainty of what we have to meet will make you rise above these fears."_

On the opposite couch Kitty watches Rosie curl into her mother's side, the fear aching, shaking each of them to their bones. Katherine feels it too. She's seen first hand what war can do, not on the battlefield, but even when their brave soldiers come home. Everything is about to change. She finds her shoulders begin to tremble, her eyes become wet. Across from her, Rebecca begins to cry and she can feel the tears welling in her as well.

Bucky puts his arm around her, pulls her into him, all warm and safe, and _present_. He's going to go off to war, she realizes, shakes with the terror of it. _He's going to go to war._ The tears start and Katherine can't stop them, but she tries, bites her lip tries to quell her cries. Bucky's hand winds itself into her hair, pulls her flush against him, feels the wet on his neck as she quietly sobs. _Everything is going to change._

> _"We must go about our daily business more determined than ever to do the ordinary things as well as we can and when we find a way to do anything more in our communities to help others, to build morale, to give a feeling of security, we must do it. Whatever is asked of us I am sure we can accomplish it. We are the free and unconquerable people of the United States of America."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No new slang in this chapter, would ya look at that! The date in this chapter is December 7th of 1941, the day Pearl Harbor was bombed and the United States joined WWII. Eleanor Roosevelt's speech honestly makes me cry, but I'm particularly emotional this week. This chapter was short, but still vital, and is going to build toward Bucky shipping off with the 107th and Steve joining Project Rebirth. As always, thank you kindly for your support and for reading.


	8. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Red Hook with her bays and warehouses never felt more like home than they did after Basic.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, as excuses come I haven't any, not really. My father passed away on the twenty-third, and I simply haven't been in a writing mood. So as updates go, it's safe to say they probably won't be near as frequent, and this chapter is terribly short. For that I apologize.
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine (at least most of it, but not after the eventual tie-in with TFA).
> 
> As I stated last chapter, It's wartime, kids!

Come the following day President Roosevelt makes the Pearl Harbor Address to the Nation about the occurrences of December 7th, 1941— _'a date which will live in infamy'_. Across the country citizens, soldier and civilian alike, tune in to the broadcast to listen as the nation's leader makes a decree.

> _"Hostilities exist. There is no blinking at the fact that our people, our territory, and our interests are in grave danger. With confidence in our armed forces, with the unbounding determination of our people, we will gain the inevitable triumph— so help us God. I ask that the Congress declare that since the unprovoked and dastardly attack by Japan on Sunday, December 7th, 1941, a state of war has existed between the United States and the Japanese empire."_

Following this address New York City is abuzz with the news of it. Men and women alike, ready and willing to serve their country in any way they possibly can. It's inspiring in the same way that it's terrifying.

Katherine isn't sure how she feels about it, but she knows how she feels about war. Kitty looks at her two best friends and knows that she dreads it, the inevitable parting. The only two men she truly cares for in this world going off to fight and die for their country, she couldn't bear it.

The month becomes a blur with the realization of the entire nation pulling on it's big-girl-panties and throwing itself into the war effort. New York's street crowd with growing recruit lines, the Red Cross has it's volunteer booths at every grocery store, at every picture house a commercial for _support our troops_ plays before the film.

Bucky wins his third YMCA welterweight boxing championship belt and spends two weeks training Steve down at Goldie's Boxing Gym. Steve never takes to it quite as well as his best friend. Kitty leaves her job at the diner, takes a wartime office job as a _government girl,_ the very same week that the boys visit NYC's US Recruiting and Induction Center.

Both boys do well on their ASVAB, but Steve Rogers gets classified as an 4F and rejected from service. Bucky Barnes passes his physical with flying colors, is marked down _Direct._ Katherine, Winnie, and his sisters mourn. Steve is pretty upset to not be joining his best friend on the battlefield, he attempts to enlist several more times. And, though each failed attempt only concretes Steven's determination, Kitty is silently grateful to have him out of harm's way.

Bucky receives his Basic Training date and location by the end of the month and within two days he ships off for _Camp Bruce E. McCoy_ , Wisconsin. He spends his winter in Basic Training crawling under barbed wire lines and toting heavy rifles. Bucky gets good with one, good enough to rise in rank. He spends all of January and February in the frigid Wisconsin cold and graduates from Basic in the first week of March.

Leaving Basic in the coming-spring weather, Bucky is happy to be outside of Camp McCoy, where he'd been trapped for ten weeks. He's happy to stretch his legs and slouch in his stance. No one calls him to attention, no one barks orders at him. He hops a bus, headed for the nearest train depot in Tomah. On the ride to Chicago he sleeps sounder than he has in two months, but once he switches lines for New York City, he can barely contain his impatience to be home. Bucky thinks maybe it's the promise of returning to the familiar before he goes off to join the war, but he knows the real reason is because of Kitty and Steve.

By the time the train arrives to Pennsylvania Station twenty-eight hours later Bucky is filled with coffee and anxious to go home. He wants see Steve, and hold Katherine, eat his mother's home-cooking, laugh with his sisters, and lie in his bed.

Penn Station is filled to the brim with commuters despite the ridiculous hour, and that annoys Bucky beyond all compare. There are too many people, even on the street as he makes the 10 minute walk to 34th street. He longs to hop on the F-line and go home to Red Hook. Instead he gets on the N-line, rides it to 53rd street and then takes the R-line to Bay Ridge where he gets off and reports to Fort Hamilton as ordered, like a good little soldier.

As he listens to his superiors drone on, Bucky longs for Red Hook. Her docks, and bays, and warehouses, and shipyards. For King street, Verona, and Sullivan, for Coffey Park. For Bay street, Columbia, and Lorraine. For the Henry Street Basin and the Rec center. But, most of all for home. He's given a week of leave before he's to report in again for his official drafting.

On the bus ride from Bay Ridge to Red Hook, exhaustion hits Bucky Barnes like a ton of bricks. He wants to go home, but realizes that Steve is probably at work, just like Kitty, and his mother and sisters. He arrives at his family home, which is the closer of the two from the bus stop, and as expected no one is home.

Bucky removes his shoes and leaves his military-issue duffle bag by the door, before trudging up the stairs toward his childhood bedroom. A part of his mind sees the change in decor and recalls that Katherine resides there now, but can't bring himself to care. Fatigued and weary, he strips out of his uniform and drapes it over her vanity chair. Leaving on his muscle shirt and boxer shorts, Bucky promptly gets under the covers and goes straight to sleep.

  
When he wakes up it's five in the afternoon and he can hear excited bustling from downstairs. No doubt his sisters know he's returned, but his mother likely forced them to allot him some much needed sleep. He sits up in bed, suddenly becoming aware of the sound of pages turning, and spots Kitty sitting at his old desk reading a book. Bucky smiles, she seems even more beautiful than when last he'd seen her. He reaches out for his uniform slacks, dressing in a hurried manner and tucking in his muscle shirt.

Katherine waits until she hears his zipper sounding before rising from her seat and standing in front of him. Bucky's grin grows, smiling ear to ear, as he takes in her rosy cheeks and her pretty polka dot dress. Before he knows it, she's reaching out, winding her arms around his shoulders and molding into him. He gathers her up in his arms, heart practically bursting with the bliss of it all. _God_ , is he glad to be home. But, he's still a little disappointed when the bedroom door opens and his mother pokes her head in, effectively cutting short their little moment.

He quickly gets over it, though when they join his family downstairs for dinner. Steve, of course, is there, along Rebecca and her husband, as well as his other two sisters. The home-cooked corned beef, cabbage, red potatoes, and carrots that his mother presents feels like the first proper meal he's eaten in ages, and he nearly kisses Kitty when she brings him a plate of the apple crumble she'd baked.

Bucky lounges in the living room with his family afterwards, completely stuffed full of delicious food. Their positions mirror the night they'd listened to the First Lady making her radio address, but this time they're far happier, laughing and smiling. He can barely believe that in just six days he'll be shipping off for war.

Kitty seems to sense that, holds his hand, even in front of his mother and sisters. None of them say anything about it. And, Bucky Barnes realizes that he wants this. He longs for this to be his future. With his family, and Kitty, and Steve by his side. This is what he wants of the rest of his life.

 _God,_ when he comes back from war he'll be a better man, he promises himself, looking down at Katherine like she's his entire world. He'll come back from war a decorated veteran and he'll do right by her, he thinks. He'll make her proud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *"a date which will live in infamy": is another direct quote from Roosevelt's Pearl Harbor Address  
> *government girl: "All around the country women stepped into government jobs vacated by men. As more men were deployed overseas, women— both military and civilian— were admitted into professional classifications previously reserved exclusively for men. By 1944, women accounted for more than a third of civil service jobs."  
> *ASVAB: Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery  
> *4-F: the classification of 4F originated during the Civil War. Recruit that did not have their four front teeth would be unable to tear the paper cartridges in use during that time, thus the classification of "four front"(4F). By the 40's it became a go-to classification for recruits with one or more medical conditions which would disqualify them from serving in uniform.  
> *Direct: after being inducted recruits are given the options of Direct Shipping, who ship off for Basic Training between 10-30 days, vs. DEP (Delayed Entry Program or Delayed Enlistment Program), who often ship off at a later time (within a year).  
> *Basic Training is often 10-12 weeks long
> 
> This was a short one, but I honestly just haven't been motivated as of late.  
> Pretty soon (probably the next chapter) this story is going to meet up with TFA.  
> Did you spot my easter eggs? No? Well, the bit about Bucky being a boxing champ and teaching Stevie is part of the canon MCU-wikia, as well as the tidbit about Camp Mccoy.  
> Hopefully I get my mojo back soon and finish up this story, we're only a few chapters from completion. As always thank you for reading, let me know what you think, and sorry for taking so long.


	9. Left My Heart in New York City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky counts the days until he crosses the great blue sea and leaves behind his whole damn world. Hell, he thinks, there's no time like the present?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time guys! We're meeting up with Captain America: The First Avenger! I know it's been a while since my last update, but I've got a treat for you~  
> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to Marvel.

It's March of 1942 and Bucky Barnes spends day five before he ships out firmly attached to Kitty and Steve. She comes over in the morning, before either of them are even out of bed and is standing in the kitchen when he wakes up at the crack of dawn. Basic had gotten to him, he grumbles and tries for a few minutes to return to the comforting warmth of his bed. His mattress is nothing special, but so much softer and warmer than his cot back at Camp McCoy.

Sleep doesn't come though, despite his efforts, so Bucky drags himself out of bed and thinks maybe he'll fetch a newspaper and read until Steve gets up. Standing in the middle of the living room in his boxers and muscle shirt, he lets out a very manly, totally not startled sounding yelp when a clank from the kitchen makes him jump.

There is Katherine, standing at the stove cooking breakfast, humming as she turns over an omelet. She turns to him, a giggle on her lips as she spots him standing there. "Good morning," her melodic voice chimes and Bucky can't stop from marching over to her, pecking her cheek and returning her greeting. He should get dressed, he thinks, but instead winds his arms around Kitty's waist and stands there watching her cook with his chin balanced on her shoulder. She doesn't seem to mind, leaning back against his chest. He'd been away to long, she'd missed him more than she's willing to admit.

Steve interrupts their little moment, clearing his throat. He stands there in his house-pants and a tee shirt, one eyebrow cocked at his best friend and his current state of undress. "I should get dressed," Bucky says quickly, nearly tripping in his haste to escape Steve's disapproving gaze. The blonde clicks his tongue, shaking his head before greeting Kitty good day and heading out to buy a newspaper himself.

Bucky returns after a moment, now dressed in pants and a tee shirt like Steve's. He looks around for his best friend, joining Kitty at the counter where she's plating the food. "Paper." She summarizes, knowing he's wondering where Steve had gone to. The soldier nods, tucking back into her while he can, arms draped around her. Their friend would be back soon, the corner store was just a few doors down, and then he'd have to disconnect from her again.

Kitty doesn't say anything about his uncharacteristically clingy behavior that day, or the next. But, she notices the way he insists on dropping her off at the office and returns early in order to pick her up. She notices the way he's always watching her, firmly glued to her side no matter where they are. Be it the dance hall, his mother's home, or his and Steve's apartment. If his best friend notices, he doesn't say anything either.

Winifred is always looking at them like they hung the stars whenever they're together. It isn't a secret that his mother wants him to pony up and ask Kitty to go steady with him, but Bucky can't. He's about to go off to war and leave her here. What is he doesn't come back? He couldn't do that to her.

Day three Bucky spends catching up with his friends. He goes to the dance hall, reminiscing the days when he was happy to indulge each flirtatious girl, spent the evening shooting cheap booze with his pals. Day two he spends the entire day at his mothers place with his sisters, waiting on Steve and Kitty to get off of work.

On day one Bucky reports to Fort Hamilton to receive his orders. He's given an impromptu promotion and his commanding officer proudly secures his new rank to his shoulders and congratulates him. He grabs a newspaper from the paperboy standing in front of a corner store. He's reading over the front page article about the Stark Expo when he runs into Bonnie and Connie, who ask him to go out that evening as a farewell, he excepts despite himself. next to the picture house. Passing the picture house, on his way back to the apartment, he hears the tell tale grunting and thumping of a back alley fight.

Bucky back pedals, glancing down a side street where he sees some schmuck picking on a much smaller guy. _Goddamn it, Rogers_. He thinks as the smaller one crashes back into a trashcan, when he realizes the smaller guy is his best friend. "Hey!" Bucky calls, grabbing the asshole by the arm and yanking him 'round, "Pick on somebody your own size."

The guy's got an inch or two on him but Bucky's a boxing champ after all, and he learned a thing or two at Basic. He barely even needs to dodge the guy's first swing, it wasn't very well aimed. Barnes gives him one good right hook and the man is reeling, swinging the entire way around to clutch his face. He gives him and swift kick in the ass and the offender takes off out of the alley, knowing better than to pursue a fight with him.

Bucky doesn't offer him any further attention, turning back to where Steve is gathering himself in a corner. "Sometimes I think you like getting punched." He says, noticing the notice laying on the group by the blonde's feet. "I had 'im on the ropes." Steve says, both of them knowing he's full of shit.

"How many times is this?" the soldier questions, opening the folded certificate to read where his best friend had tried to register from this time. "Oh," he scoffs, a little miffed as he reads over the the location, "You're from Paramus now." Bucky raises an eyebrow, as the smaller man begins dusting himself off. "You know it's illegal to lie on an enlistment form. And, seriously, Jersey? Kitty'll have your head if she sees this."

Steve gets this incredulous look on his face, suddenly taking in his friend's outfit. "You get your orders?" Bucky is dressed in full army uniform, service cap and all. "The one-oh-seventh," he begins, noting the flicker of emotion in Steve's eye, his father father had been in the 107th. "Sergeant James Barnes, shipping out for England first thing tomorrow." The blonde nods, realization suddenly hitting him like a freight train. His best friend is going to go off to war without him. "I should be going," he says, voice raw. They both pause, not knowing what the hell else to say. What is there to say?

"Come one, man" Bucky smiles, tossing an arm over the smaller man's shoulder. He isn't good and the sappy, emotional stuff. "It's my last night, gotta get you cleaned up." He tosses the enlistment certificate over his shoulder as his best friend questions where they're going and hands him the newspaper. "The future."

His double date doesn't quite go as he'd planned, he was hopping the evening would result in Steve having a good time and meeting a couple nice gals before they'd call it a night and he'd go home and see Kitty. Instead Steve bails in favor of attempting to enlisting once again and Bucky leads the girls to the dance hall, but isn't all there. Luck for him Robert Thompson and Joseph Allen are there to relieve him.

It's almost nine o'clock and Sergeant Barnes hurries to his mother's house to collect his best girl. Winifred and sisters are still awake, all of them sitting in the living room, waiting on him. They spend an entire hour saying their farewells and there is a hell of a lot of crying. Not from Kitty though, she holds his hand, sits firmly at his side and doesn't detach from him the entire time, even when his mother says he should head home and get some sleep.

He doesn't want to, he wants to stay at Kitty's side. Bucky brings the fingers of the hand he's holding up to his lips, presses little kisses to the knuckles as they stand in the doorway. He doesn't want to go. She doesn't want him to go. Winnie comes down the stairs with an overnight bag in her hand, as Kitty's free hand reaches up to cup his cheek. He's sure that his mother is going to shoo him out the door as she comes up behind them, her eyebrows pinched with emotion, but instead she hands the bag to her son.

"Katherine, why don't you go spend the night at the apartment and make sure my boy has a good, hearty breakfast before he ships off in the morning." Winnie has a soft smile on her face, tears in her eyes. Neither of them are expecting that. It's definitely not proper etiquette, people would talk. But, they don't care. Let people talk. Bucky is sure that with tons of good sons, brothers, lovers, and husbands shipping off to fight the good fight, people would understand.

So the couple simply nods, each of them hugging his mother farewell and disappearing hand in hand down the street. Neither of them speak on the walk back to the apartment. They huddle close to each other in the dark, her arm around his waist and his around her shoulder. It's 10:06 when they arrive at the apartment and Bucky ducks a peek into Steve's empty room, the blonde is still out it appears. He makes short work on taking Kitty to bed.

A kick of lust floors her as she closes the door behind them when they enter, letting him press her into the wood and kiss her silly. It isn't the first time, but aside from pecks they've only had one kiss like this before, at Penn Station when he was shipping out for Basic. This time is all accidental mashing of teeth and dancing tongues, fingers tangling into dark curls as they work off each other's jackets. Kitty laughs when he dumps the material on the floor, pulling him back to her to help him out of his uniform.

Bucky groans, takes her face in both hands and focusing on her mouth and not the fingers working his belt buckle and the button of his slacks. He pulls back, palms wandering down her back until he finds the zipper of her cobalt colored dress. He pushes it down her shoulders, mouth leaving a hot trail of kisses from her shoulder to her collarbone, before working the garment down her waist and letting at pool on the floor around their feet.

Katherine stands there in her pale blue slip dress, Bucky in his boxers and muscle shirt, and they both chuckle, grinning ridiculously as he scoops her up and carries her to his bed. They lie there kissing for a long time, unhurried, enjoying the tender moment in comfortable silence. They should have done this sooner, he thinks, nuzzling into the crook of her neck. It's not proper, but he has no room talking, he isn't exactly the Patron Saint of Virtue or anything and knows she'd been with that man she'd almost married. But, a part of him is okay with the way things worked out. He had her here now, curled into him, dressed in only a slip and a smile, he wouldn't have things any other way.

With that thought, he rolls Kitty onto her back, pinned beneath him. Her grin is still present, face flushed, as she blinks up at him between her long eyelashes with hooded, sultry eyes. Bucky's mouth on hers is rushed again, gathering her legs on either side of his hips and working up her slip. She groans when his fingers pull away her panties, discarding them over his shoulder and parting her thighs. He gives her this smile, not cocky like she's used to. It's vulnerable and so damn happy, he looks like he's found cloud nine. "Gonna miss you so much, doll."

She smiles back, helps him pull his muscle shirt over his head and pulls him back to her instantly. In the morning this man is going to get on a ship and go away to war. She shouldn't be taking him to bed. He might never come home. But, Katherine doesn't care. Kissing him back wholeheartedly, she tangles her fingers in his hair, pulling him closer as he works his boxers down his legs and parts hers wider. She tells herself she wants him right now, despite the inevitable parting that will come with the sunrise.

Bucky licks his fingers, presses the wet digits between her legs and finds her to already be damp. He gives her a whimper of a groan, kisses her neck and chest. His fingers dip into her slick, thumb working her clit and Kitty gasps out a moan. Fetching a condom from his nightstand, Bucky kisses her again, his fingers moving inside and she further spreads her legs, tugs a bit on the brown locks in her hands.

Tucking Katherine's legs around his waist, Bucky rolls the condom on and angles his hips, replacing his fingers with his cock. A chorus of moans follow the sinking of his length into her fully. He gasps, holds his hips steady, kisses her throat and her shoulder, giving her a moment to relax before pistoning forward. Kitty cries out, louder than she'd expected, and her arms wind around his neck.

She holds his gaze, watches Bucky pull out and then drive into her again, sees the concentration and desire on his face. The visual pulls Kitty higher, allows her to disassociate from the discomfort of being so damn full. She lets out a breathless sob and Bucky gasps, sweat sheening his face, and neck, and shoulders. The salt of her skin on his tongue, and she's so goddamn _sweet._

Kitty's nails rack across his shoulders, down his spine, she clutches his driving hips. Calls out his name under the force of his thrusts, there's pressure rising in the apex of her thighs, thrumming on her clit, the sensation rolling together and building as Bucky finds that sweet spot and hammers against it, everything inside her sings.

Katherine comes, cries out his name again, losing herself in an overwhelming crash of ecstasy. Bucky chases his own orgasm, _so damn close_ , his body jolting like the snap of a whip when he finds it. Keening her name, she hears the sound rip from him, voice wrecked, and it's all so hot, and vivid, and so incredibly _right_.

"Love you," gasps Kitty, voice raw, mind clouded in post orgasmic bliss. She's burning up, but refuses to pull away from him. "I'm done pretending, Bucky Barnes. I love you." The latter is breathing hard, collapsed on top of her, burrowing into the nape of her neck and leaving ecstasy-induced love bites. "I know," He says, exhausted, and sweaty, and thoroughly fucked out. His chest heaves and he rolls them over and tossing the used condom in the waste bin, before pulling her into his side.

Every part of her is still hot to the touch, as Bucky kisses her again. “I know, I know, babydoll.” He murmurs, tries to convey his heart as best he can. "I love you so much, Katherine Lucia Harris." She seems to accept that this is all he can give her right now, because she curls into him and nuzzles his neck. Bucky falls asleep thinking perhaps he'll come back from the war a better man, one who would properly confess his full intentions and eventually marry her.

Kitty doesn't sleep. She can't, she lies there the entire night beside him in the dark. Still dressed in her pale blue slip beside her very naked, sleeping lover. With the rise of the sun James Buchanan Barnes would don his uniform and ship out for England with the rest of the 107th Infantry Regiment. Come daylight all her hopes and dreams will board a ship at the 58th Street Pier with his fellow soldiers and leave her behind.

  
Around one o'clock Steve returns to the apartment. He tries to be as quiet as possible, but she's wide awake, so she hears him tiptoe through the living room and into his bedroom. The hours pass but sleep never claims her, instead she lies next to next to him. Bucky sleeps on his side, his back turned to her as he quietly snores. Kitty runs the back of her left hand over his exposed skin, the blanket pushed down around his waist. She traces from the curve of his hip up and over the ridges of his side, fingertips of her opposite hand coming up to trace higher, over his shoulder and then back down to his spine.

Soon the sky begins to brighten, the morning sun just barely peaking over the horizon and lighting their world and bringing the dreaded day with it. Katherine wishes that time would pause, freeze in this instant so that she could lie there beside him forever. But, he stirs at the gentle petting of her finger tips over his skin. Smiling dopily as he turns to her, sleep riddling his gorgeous features, "Good morning, beautiful." Bucky whispers, voice raw and groggy.

Her eyebrows pinch, he looks so wonderful in the dim light, she prays she'll be able to see this sight again. Maybe one day, when the war was over. "Morning, Sergeant." Kitty greets with a smile, pressing her lips to his. He moans into the kiss, rolling under her this time, his mouth become more and more insistent. "Gotta have you again, sweetheart." Bucky admits from where he lies beneath her, attempting to tug her slip up over her head.

"Steve's home," she informs, but helps him pull the material over her head and dump it at the foot of the bed. There's a cocky smirk on his hot mouth as he grins up at her, "Gonna have to be quiet for me then." Kitty excepts this challenge, adjusts herself over him, straddling his hips. He trails kisses down her neck and over her chest, fondles her breasts and closes his mouth over a nipple. She gasps aloud reminding her self to her quiet. Bucky's already hard and needy between her thighs and she's been hot for him the instant he'd pulled her on top of him.

Katherine eases onto his cock inside and tries not to moan too loudly. They should really be more modest, Steve probably doesn't want to hear his two closest friends plowing each other into Bucky's slightly squeaky mattress. But, it's her man's last day in New York and she'd be damned is she didn't give him the greatest farewell of his life. "I've gotta look at you, darlin'," He tells her, his voice is all baritone and seduction, and she can only groan in response.

She sits up straighter, leaning back to brace her palms on his thighs and begins to lift and fall on his cock. Bucky chokes out a moan, looking wrecked as she fucks the fatigue of slumber from him. "Oh _god_ , Katherine." He hisses out, not even trying to be quiet. Kitty works herself on his cock, watching the way his tries to fight his eyes from closing in bliss. He'd wanted to watch her, so he does. His fingers dig into her hips, almost bruising, his moans growing louder.

Kitty covers his loud mouth with the flat of her palm, seeing his eyes blaze with desire as she tries to quiet him despite riding him like a goddamn champ. Bucky takes her wrist into one hand, the other holding her waist, and let's her smother down his moans. The situation makes him even more turned on. He's pretty sure he's had to muffle woman he's slept with in the past, but no one had ever done it to him. The idea makes him want to throw the being quiet idea right out the damn window.

The sun is painting the window sill now, but neither of them notices, as Bucky turns them over. He pins Katherine under him, legs thrown over his shoulders, and works on making her fucking _sing for him_. The new angle takes them both to new heights. Bucky groaning down into her neck and delivering each thrust with sniper's accuracy against her g-spot. Kitty cries out, loudly, Steve was surely awake now. She covers her own mouth, her thighs straining, twitching uncontrollably from the position he was holding them in.

James Buchanan Barnes fucks her with renewed vigor, the telltale knot in her gut pulling tight, as he pries her hand from her mouth and pins it down on the bed, "Wanna hear you, sweetheart." She tries really tries, not to moan too loudly, but each powerful thrust drives the breath from her lungs and she cries out against his shoulder. The knot pulls taut inside her and then snaps as he thrusts into a particularly tender sweet spot and Kitty comes screaming his name.

Bucky rolls off of her pumping his cock in his fist and leaning over to kiss her. He looks fucking beautiful all tense and fucked out, milking his cock for her. Kitty's a thankful when he comes against her thigh instead, they hadn't used protection this round after all. Despite their failure to be quiet, they both quickly dress and sneak out into the bathroom. They shower together, crowded close inside the tub with the curtain drawn closed.

They get a little distracted between washing each other's hair and lathering each other up. Bucky plows her up against the wall under the spray of the shower, a little rushed as he takes her to paradise and back, both to conserve water and to make it back to his room before Steve gets up. She finishes him on her knees on the tub floor, his back to the wall tile and his eye practically rolling back into his skull. They hurry into the clothes they'd come out in and rush out of the bathroom. The main room is empty and Steve's door is still closed, but they don't know if he's awake.

Dressing for the day in the outfit Winifred had packed into her overnight bag, she watches Bucky put on his uniform and is once again reminded what will happen later today. He looks good in Army Green, more handsome than she'd ever scene him, she thinks. Tucking his service cap under his arm, he kisses her again and leads her out into the kitchen. Katherine gets to work on the hearty breakfast his mother had demanded as he goes out for the morning paper.

He comes back in just a few short minutes and realizes as he watches her bustling around the kitchen that even in that brief while he'd begun to miss her already. How is he joining to go fight all the way across the sea in Europe, when he can't even walk down the street without aching for her. Bucky collects her in his arms again as she cooks, holds her close and kisses her hair. "I love you." He says, even though he hears Steve's door opening. "I love you too." Kitty replies.

If Steven Rogers had overheard their early morning romp— _he'd definitely heard it_ — he doesn't mention it, but his cheeks are pink all of breakfast and he keeps looking at them with this big grin. The blonde is pretty glad the two of them had worked out this ridiculous dance they'd been at for _ages_. He'd known from early on that his best friend had been sweet on the girl and that she returned those feelings tenfold. It'd been waiting on _them_ to realize it that had tried Steve's patience.

After breakfast Steve bids his best friend farewell. Then Bucky and his girl walk to Prospect Ave cuddled close together, clinging to their final hour together desperately. On the N Line they sit side by side, hands clasped as they stare at each other. He takes in all of her features, committing every feature to memory, as not to forget her in his absence. Bucky wonders how long his first tour will be, when he will return to her, if he will return at all. He brings her hands up to kiss the knuckles, nuzzles into the palm that cups his cheek. He'd be damned if he didn't come home to her.

They get off the train in Sunset Park, at 59th street, and the normally eleven minute walk takes admittedly longer than it should. Bucky holds her hand all the way to the Brooklyn Army Terminal. They take their sweet time, trying to make the most of these final moments. At the pier numerous soldiers are boarding, bidding their families and lovers farewell.

Sergeant Barnes kisses Katherine in front of all the strangers, holds her like she's the whole damn world, then he smiles at her. "I'll come back for you, darlin'." His voice is raw, eyes wet with emotion. Her eyebrows furrow, but she grins back at him, "You better, Serg." Kitty's eyes start watering without her consent, her lip quivering.

"Don't cry, doll. Please don't cry." Bucky's voice wavers and he gathers her in his embrace, holds her like he never wants to let her go, but he has too. It's the last call and all the other soldiers around him are making for the ship. "I love you so much, Kitty-cat."

"You come home to me, James Buchanan Barnes." He kisses her one final time before hitching his duffle higher over his shoulder and turning to march onto the ship that would take him off to England, a world a way from the love of his life.

Katherine waves as she watches him board, tears glittering in her eyes and gathering around the rim of her eyes again. He'd told her not to cry. As the ship pulls away from the dock and she can feel her heart sinking into her stomach. That day the love of her life sails across the sea and she cries herself to sleep that night. At the very least Steve would be here to miss him with her. Or so she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've finally met up with TFA and now comes the angst! Yay! Honestly, you aren't gonna like me very much, probably. Hope ya'll aren't too attached to Kitty/Bucky? For TFA bit it isn't gonna stray very much from the film, can't say anything about the epilogue though tbh. It probably won't be what you're expecting? Maybe? But, we've finally had or first and last addition on smut in this story though! It was a slow burn.
> 
> Anyway, how do you like it? Let me know what you think is coming in Bucky and Kitty's futures? What are you hoping for this story? Let me know! And, as always, thank you for reading and being patient with me.


	10. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And there you are an ocean away, do you have to be an ocean away?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We've officially geared into Captain America: The First Avenger! Hope you guys love to suffer as much as I do. Good days do not lie in our future. Un-betaed so excuse any errors? Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to Marvel.

Buck Barnes sails across the great, deep blue and just a few days later Steven Grant Rogers reveals that he'd enlisted in the army as well. That he'd met a German scientist named Erskine and had been recruited by the Strategic Scientific Reserve for something entitled Project Rebirth. Kitty's heart sinks at the sheer terror of it.

She loves Steve, not the way she loves Bucky, but like he's her flesh and blood, a brother of her own. She doesn't want to send him off to war too, not with the love of her life already all the way across the Atlantic fighting the good fight. Katherine couldn't lose them both.

Just eight days after he breaks the news he's shipping off to Camp Lehigh in Wheaton, New Jersey. "Does it have to be in Jersey?" She scoffs, as they stand at the train station. "Stuff it, Kitty." Steve groans, but smile despite her teasing. She reaches out to adjust his uniform, trying to to frown as she adjusts his tie. "You stay safe out there, Stevie."

He nods, giving her a reassuring farewell hug, "I will. You look out for yourself alright, Kitty? I'll send Buck home to ya real soon." Steven Rogers steps off the train platform with the promise to keep in touch. He'll write her, he assures.

True to his word Katherine soon receives a letter in the mail, Steve has written her from training. The neat handwriting details his activities at the camp, his fellow recruits, and his superior officers. Two in particular named Colonel Phillips and Agent Carter.

The next that comes is a parcel tied together with a piece of twine. There are two dirty, water-worn envelopes addressed from a camp somewhere in England, one letter for her and the other for his mother and sisters. The name scribbled in the upper left hand corner of both is _Sergeant J. Barnes_. Kitty squeals in delight and tears into the envelope. She reads the words scrawled in Bucky's handwriting over again and again.

 

> _My dearest, Katherine,_
> 
> _If I thought time would've dulled how much I was going to miss you, I had another thing comin' when I left for this place. It's hell over here, darlin'. I'm glad you're over there on the other side of the sea, where it's safe. I hope you're doin' well. How's Stevie? Are ya keepin' him outta trouble? What about Ma and the girls? I wrote them too and I'm sure they'll tell me all's swell and good, but I trust you to tell it to me straight._
> 
> _Battle's thick out here and I gotta admit, I'm scared I won't make it back to you. I killed people today, foot soldiers out in the open, and I was up in a nest with my rifle. I honestly wonder what we're doin' out here. They've got boys like me out here taking out little guys that know as much as I do. We're all just followin' orders. We're just puppets out here, Kitty-cat. The big guys pull the stings and we dance, the Krauts are just hearin' a different tune's all._
> 
> _Every night I look at your picture and hope I'm doin' the right thing. Hope I'm makin' a difference out here. God, I miss you, babydoll. I'm gonna win you this war and then I'm gonna come home to you. Hope I don't make you wait for too long. I love you, Katherine._
> 
> _Yours always,_  
>  _J. Bucky Barnes_
> 
>  

War, Katherine knows, is a dark, evil thing. Bucky has never been an emotional, expressive person, but something about writing letters is easier for him than talking. He tells her all about the horrors he witnesses and even the ones he's committed. War changes people, she knows that better than most. It'd changed her father, and though she'd never known the man he was before the war, before he drank to chase away the horrors, her mother had always said that he'd been a good man. Her mother had loved Emmett with all her heart, until she couldn't anymore. For long time she'd wondered why Cecelia had stayed, but now that she'd sent Bucky off to fight, she knew the answer. Kitty doesn't care if he comes back shell-shocked and broken, as long as he comes back with a _pulse_.

In Steve's next letters the name Carter becomes a frequent mention. Katherine respects the female agent, wishes she could be out there beside her boys like Agent Carter is. In his next letter he tells her he's been chosen to undergo an experiment for some kind of serum. She's apprehensive at the thought of it, but reads that he'll be allowed a visitor before the procedure and can't resist the opportunity to see her dear friend again.

Steve is brought to her office building in Manhattan in a sleek black car. They're allowed to use an empty conference room for the visit, just one short hour before his procedure is to be held somewhere in Brooklyn. The specific location is classified, a man in an army uniform informs her. Steve looks nervous, but happy to finally be contributing. Their meeting is brief, before the officer announces they're due to pick up Agent Carter, but it's enough. She gathers Steve into a hug and wishes him good luck. Kitty worries for him, but she has faith. The months will fly by before she sees him again.

In Bucky's next letters she senses his weariness greater than in the others. They become shorter, he doesn't mention the horrors much anymore. He's tired, misses her, misses his family, misses Steve. Katherine wishes there was some way to comfort him, but she can only think to send him photos. New ones and old, pictures where they're together mostly, something to hold onto over there. To remember what he's fighting for.

>  
> 
> _My darlin', Kitty,_
> 
> _I write to you as my unit is on it's way to Italy and I can't help but think of you. You always said you wanted to visit Rome. One day, when this hellish war is done and over, I'm gonna bring you. You'd love it. Not in the barracks though. I'm tip-toein' in there most days. We're all tired. We miss home. I miss you._
> 
> _Some days I feels like I've been here a million years, like it's never gonna end. Like the war is all there ever was, all that'll ever be. Sometimes I can't remember the way things were before all this. On them days I look at your picture._
> 
> _I can't wait to come home to you, sweetheart. Is waiting hard for you too? When all of this is over I'll do right by you, I swear it._
> 
> _All my love,_  
>  _J. Bucky Barnes_
> 
>  

Almost a year has gone by since Katherine met Steve in Manhattan, but she still get his letters. The procedure was successful and he's _Captain America_ now. She sees his picture splashed across the front page of the paper and can't believe it. Wouldn't believe it, if not for his letters. Steve talks about the scientist's death, and an elusive enemy, his new body, and his Agent Carter. He tells her that she and Phillips head off to England to join the good fight while the Colonel threatens to send him off to some SSR laboratory in Alamogordo, New Mexico. Shelved again, Steve hates being kept from the fight.

Some senator named Brandt successfully convinces him that he can still serve his country, turns him into a symbol for the American spirit. This turns out to be in the form of performing as a costumed hero at fund-raising shows, where he convinces the audience to buy war bonds. When Kitty sees the ads and the films, she still can't believe the look of him.

It isn't until he writes her after a show in Buffalo, telling her that their next location is Manhattan, that she's able to see him in person again. The performance is impressive, Kitty will admit that. The women are beautiful and _Captain America_ is charismatic and inspiring. She can hardly believe that it's her friend. He's so much bigger, taller and fitter. Then he speaks and Katherine knows that voice.

After the show an attendant leads her to the dressing room area and a massive six foot tall, blonde, giant scoops her up into his arms. "I missed you, Kitty-cat!" He exclaims, looking at her with stars in his eyes, happy to see his friend once more. The latter just looks at him, hands on his shoulders. It's Steve's face, but he's almost a whole other person. "Look at you," She says, voice filled with awe, "Bucky is going to lose his mind."

Katherine stays up with him all evening in his hotel lobby, catching up. They part ways with the sunrise, Steve is headed off to perform in USO shows across Europe, it's a bitter farewell. She prays for his safety and tells him to look out for her idiot lover while in Italy. Steve is a good man, a man who'll go on to do great things. She doesn't know just how right she is.

  
The new year rings in and passes with little news from her boys. Steve's letters are far and few, while Bucky's are non-existent. Kitty hopes that perhaps the mail is just lost. That the carrier had misplaced them, that the army had sent them out late. The regular flow of water-worn envelops and loving letters comes to a halt and a part of her fears he's been killed in action. She doesn't mention it, not to Bucky's mother or sisters, not to anyone. Fearing that if she says the words aloud it would come true. Instead she checks the mail everyday, reads the old letters over and over, imagines what life will be like when he comes home to them.

In Italy Captain America performs in front of a weary, unpleasant audience of survivors. After a humiliating encounter Agent Carter informs him the prickly group was the remaining members of the 107th Infantry Regiment and Steve's heart stops beating in his chest.

His best friend is trapped behind enemy lines, possibly dead, and that's enough for him. He's finished being a bench warmer, a dancing monkey, _a chorus girl_. This will be the last time someone tries to keep Captain America from the good fight. He storms a factory in Austria and saves the lives of over four hundred men, but most importantly he saves Bucky Barnes.

They stand in an infirmary after the liberation of the allied prisoners, arguing over the extent of Bucky's injuries. The latter is a lot more concerned about the procedure his best friend had undergone. "You let them do _what_?!" The brunette scolds, "You could have _died_ , Stevie!" Sheepish, the blonde rubs his neck, "Yeah, yeah. Believe me, Kitty already chewed me out after I told her. She said you'd lose your head over it too."

The frown on his mouth is subdued, his pinched expression muting and he finally lets a nurse look him over, Steve at his side. "How is she?" He asks. Torture and experimentation be demanded, but one mention of his girl and James Barnes becomes soft, vulnerable thing. Steve nods, "She's good. Still as pretty as she's always been, and more spitfire than you and me combined." They both smile at that. "She misses you though, Buck. You'd better write that girl a letter, she's probably goin' outta her mind with worry."

Bucky does one better. He hunts down a fellow member of his unit, a nice officer from Long Island who'd also been held captive by Hydra. Aside from a dislocated shoulder and some minor cuts, Corporal Matthew Davis blew his knee out and suffers a great deal of musculoskeletal and nerve pain. Marching and walking for long durations causes him a great deal pain, which disqualifies him from continuing to serve, but he's lucky he can still walk at all.

Bucky's glad for the kid, almost jealous that he gets to go home. He wonders if being experimented on would qualify him for a medical discharge as well. Davis is a good man. Around the same age as him and Steve, a rank below him, and someone he'd gotten a little close with before they'd been imprisoned. He knows Davis would be shipping home for New York any day now with the rest of the those being relieved via medical discharge.

The Corporal is happy to help out his superior officer, eager even, after hearing about the beautiful, spitfire woman waiting on Barnes back home. So Bucky entrusts him with a small package for Kitty Harris and hopes she'll forgive him for worrying her, hopes she's still waiting on him. That's selfish, he realizes. Because now Steve is here and someone's gonna have to look after his reckless ass.

In Steve's next letter Katherine learns that she'd nearly lost them. Bucky'd been behind enemy lines on some experimentation slab and Steve's stubborn ass refused to let him die there despite his orders. She's glad for that. Kitty cries her eyes out for days. They'd been so damn close, if Steve hadn't come he'd have died there. Cold, alone, and in pain. She can't bear the thought of it. They'd nearly received his condolence letter and they wouldn't even have been able to bring him back for them to bury. They'd have left him there. She's terrified, and furious, and so goddamn _grateful_ for Steven Grant Rogers.

Katherine waits for Bucky's letter, but it doesn't come. Instead it's a Wednesday morning when one of her coworkers comes up to her, cheeks pink and informs her that she has a visitor. Worry fills Kitty as she gets up from her work station and makes her way into the lobby, where a man in an army uniform stands near the security desk. He turns and gives a friendly wave, takes off his service cap respectively and makes his way over to her.

She spots him and her heart skips a beat at the sight of dark hair and blue eyes. Though standing roughly the same height, the man before her is not James Buchanan Barnes. Instead the man before her is a little shorter, with longer hair, and sharper features, the shape of his jaw more angular, where Bucky's is squared. He's a handsome man, she notes, but not the handsome man she'd been missing.

The stranger sees the way she deflates a bit, visibly dejected, but he's not disappointed. If the picture in Barnes' pocket watch is any indication, this pretty girl is clearly waiting for a different blue-eyed, brunette soldier. "You're Kitty Harris, right? I'm Corporal Matthew Davis with the one-oh-seventh. Sergeant Barnes asked me to deliver this to you." He places a small package in her hands with Bucky's handwriting scrawled across the front, _For Katherine Lucia._

"Thank you, Corporal." She says, truly grateful all over again, tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Bucky's alive. He'd had this man bring her a package. "You're very welcome, M'am. Sergeant Barnes was real good to me over there, it's the least I could do. I hope you have a pleasant day, I'll be on my way now." With that the soldier tips his hat and heads out the front door, Katherine briefly notices the limp in his gait.

Kitty sits down at her desk, looking over Bucky's handwriting again and again, tracing her fingertips over the writing over and over. Eventually she opens the carefully sealed package, finding inside an envelope and a small box the size of her palm, which she opens first. Inside is an elegant necklace, a pendant with a round white pearl set in open scrollwork, on a gold chain with a spring ring and bar clasp. Setting the jewelry box aside and tearing into the envelope, Kitty reads and rereads his letter, comforted by the familiar scrawl.

 

>  
> 
> _My Katherine,_
> 
> _I didn't die. I'm not going to die._
> 
> _Steve and I are going to win you this war and then I'm coming home._
> 
> _Until then someone has to be here to keep an eye on the damn punk._
> 
> _Then we're going to go home to you. I'm going to come home to you._
> 
> _Unconditionally yours,_  
>  _J. Bucky Barnes_

 

* * *

 

* * *

 

Were you perhaps wondering what Kitty's pendant and Corporal Davis look like? No? Well either way, here you go!

 

That’s right, Ian Somerhalder! Mostly because I spotted him in uniform and almost died.

I thought it’d look something like this. Elegant, simple, something Bucky could have found passing through Italy and (possibly?) been able to afford on his pension. I honestly just googled vintage pendants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There it is kids!! We're so close to the end, just a few short chapters away from the finish line. I'm actually pretty pleased with how this story has gone, despite myself. Let me know what you thought and how you feel about this story drawing to a close.  
> I may begin posting another Bucky story after completing this one. I'm not quite sure what about atm, I've got an MCU folder full of summaries, plot-points, and brain storms (literally, like 52 different story ideas, it's honestly draining). So perhaps look out for something from me in the future?  
> And, as always, thank you kindly for reading and being patient with me. You're the loveliest.


	11. Another Lie From the Frontlines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We laid our names to rest along the dotted line.  
> We left our date of birth and our history behind.  
> We were full of life, we could barely hold it in.  
> We were amateurs at war, strangers to suffering.  
> We made our families proud, but scared at the same time.  
> We promised we’d be safe, another lie from the front lines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before I get started I should mention that after the last chapter someone mentioned that they didn't quite agree with how easily Bucky and Kitty were able to have sex despite her being a victim of rape and I realized that I should have better addressed that. So I'll paste my statement here. The pace of this story is rushed and the timeline is not made very clear in my writing, but I'll try to set the record straight:
> 
> Katherine's attack occurs at the end of April 1940. Though at this point she's already known Bucky for a number of years (they've both lived in Red Hook all their lives and Bucky & Steve are regulars at the dinner where she works) they don't actually become close until Chapter 2, which is roughly October of the same year (1940).  
> A full year and two months pass between Chapters 6 (end of '40 and through all of 1941) and 7 (picks up on Dec 7, 1941), which I didn't take the time to write out purely out of laziness.  
> But I do summarize that she "picks up her all her broken pieces and instead of putting them back together in the same old order, she builds something new. Paints herself a whole new person to become, someone who doesn't cling to terror and despair, doesn't cower from the fear of fists or night walks home." Kitty has her grace period and time of healing, with the help not only of Bucky, but of his mother and sisters, and Steve. She tells to Winifred what happened to her and she helps Kitty to heal. Moral support is all there was, support for rape victims wasn't the way it is now back then.  
> When she and Bucky finally sleep together it's March of 1942. Two years have passed since the attack and the past year has been nothing but good to her, she's come a long way in her healing and she trusts Bucky. I glossed over a great deal of their relationship trying to get to the major points of the plot, but they are a couple in everything but name. They've shared kisses and intimacy of the non-sexual nature prior to the night they have sex in '42, but I left that up to interpretation.  
> 1939 and 1940 are rough years for Kitty in the time before the Barnes Family takes her in. She goes through so many terrible things one after the other and then the very next year she finds this place where everyone truly loves her and doesn't want anything from her, and I like to think that would have helped her heal. And, yes, she has her days where it suddenly hits her again and she can barely even look at Bucky, let alone touch him, but I like to think that he'd take one look and see that dark abyss in her eyes again and know how to comfort her. That he wouldn't push her and that he's okay with waiting because he just wants her to be okay. I also like to think that my '42 when he's leaving that she okay enough in her own skin to sleep with him, because she loves him, and wants him and is afraid they'll never have the chance again.
> 
> The rest of this lies in a whole 'nother spectrum: Is two years enough time to have healed mentally and emotionally after being sexually assaulted? For some people, no it certainly is not. For others? Perhaps so. It's different for each and every victim. I fully understand how traumatic such situations are, but as far as experiences and healing go, we're all different. So I just hope no one is offended by how poorly I portrayed Kitty's healing. I should have addressed it better.)
> 
> Well we've make to what is essentially the end of the line, everyone. It was part of the way into 1943 when Bucky was captured in Azzano and Steve rescued him, which means we're drawing to a close. I'm sure everyone will be disappointed with the result of this chapter, but I'm grateful for those of you who have stuck around to see it through.
> 
> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to Marvel.
> 
> It's a short one, but maybe prepare tissues?

1943 is a blur of water-worn letters and longing. In New York City those who couldn't serve do their best holding out on hope. They support their troops in any way they can and they pray their soldiers will be safe on the front lines. Katherine is no different. She clings onto hope and rereads the love letters over and over, waits on baited breath for more weathered envelops to be delivered.

Across the sea Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes lead an elite unit that they come to call the Howling Commandos. In his letters, her lover describes each member to a T. Kitty can image their missions as she reads over the scrawl of his handwriting, inspired by their bravery, but terrified for their safety. They take base after base, guns blazing. Bucky promises to be strong, to be safe, to keep Steve out of trouble, and to come home to her soon.

Time is ruthless to them, and another year flies by with only letters and dismantled HYDRA cells to show for it. He tells her that the battle is drawing to a close, that soon they'll finish HYDRA off and come home. There aren't many bases left on their list, but the Red Skull, Johan Schmidt, has something big planned and the Howlies intend to put the brakes on it.

Which is exactly how they end up in the mountains of some country in the Soviet Union, waiting on a frozen rock for a train carrying a specific HYDRA scientist to speed by. The fearless Howling Commandos hop the train via zip line to collect Dr. Arnim Zola for questioning. Instead of a simple ambush, Barnes and Rogers get caught in a gun fight that blasts a hole out the side of the train car they're in.

Captain America is incapacitated by the blow of a HYDRA canon and in that instant Bucky Barnes does the only thing he can to save his friend. Scooping up Steve's shield, he plants himself in the HYDRA soldier's way and fires his gun, once, twice, before the canon powers up and the blasts sends him sailing. He crashes into the open, mangled steel of the gutted train car, his legs dangling hundreds of feet over the frozen riverbed below and he clings on for dear life. _Not like this_ , Bucky prays. He has things to do, people to see, a girl he's got to go home to.

In an instant Steve takes out the canon-wielding soldier and scrambles to save his best friend. "Bucky!" He tosses off his helmet, bettering his focus as he maneuvers the wreckage of dangling steel. "Hang on!" Steve reaches out in desperation, just inches away, "Grab my hand!" But, the metal bar Bucky had been clinging to strains under his weight and creaks, his hands slipping just centimeters from Steve's as the steel snaps and Bucky falls.

Steven Rogers watches in horror as his best friend, his right hand man, slips right through his fingers. He feels helpless, like he's up there just to watch. Even once they recollect at the base, Steve can hear the screaming in his ears, the echo of his best friend's cry ringing through the mountain side as he fell toward the frozen riverbed. Steve covers his ears. He doesn't want to hear anymore.

  
It's early 1945 the next day, when Kitty Harris comes home on an average, normal weekday evening, and there's a black car parked outside the Barnes residence. A man wearing a service uniform sits in the driver's seat, but the passenger's side is empty. Her heart sinks into her gut and she forces herself to march inside. In the living room Winifred, Maxine, and Rosemary are seated across from another two men in army uniforms.

Bucky's sisters are crying and Winifred is screaming in horror about how they'd _left her boy lying in some frozen Soviet riverbed_. Katherine's purse clatters to the ground, her arms shaking and her body going into shock. "No," she says, when one of the men stands to greet her. "I'm very sorry, m'am." says the officer, beginning to relay the details of Sergeant Barnes passing to her. Kitty shakes her head stubbornly, riddled with denial, refusing to except the news the officers have brought before her. She clutches the death certificate in her hand, vision blurring as she finds the words stamped in black ink. _Killed in Action_.

She waits for Steve's letter, but it never comes. Mrs. Barnes, Bucky's sisters, and Kitty hold a small, humble funeral service for Sergeant James Buchanan Barnes. More people than Katherine Lucia had ever met in her life come to the ceremony, but not the one man who matters. A few days later the headlines are splashed across every newspaper in the nation, maybe in the world. Captain America sacrifices his life to stop a HYDRA plane, carrying weapons of mass destruction, from wiping out the entire eastern seaboard. The search continues for the wreckage so that the nation may bring their hero home to lay to rest.

In the end the graves of both Captain America and Sergeant Barnes lie empty. Both of them lost, left all alone in a frozen wasteland, unable to ever come home. But, Kitty knows that if they had to go, they would have preferred it this way. After the war she tries to smile and always do what would make her boys proud. She tries not to fret and is content with biding her time. She knows that one day, at the end, she'll meet them again. Katherine mourns in the only way she can. She lives her life, she tells their story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading and staying with me this long. Did you like this chapter? Hate it? Let me know and stick around for the next three follow-up mini-chapters, to learn about Kitty's life after the war and how Post-Winter Soldier Bucky will react to remembering her!


	12. Extra — Almost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye, my almost lover. Goodbye, my hopeless dream.  
> I'm trying not to think about you, can't you just let me be?  
> So long, my luckless romance, my back is turned on you.  
> Should've known you'd bring me heartache, almost lovers always do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which after the war Peggy Carter personally delivers something to the Sergeant's "Katherine Lucia".

In late September of 1945, just a handful of weeks after the war is declared over, Kitty receives a caller that has Winifred hollering up the stairs for her. It's been a few months since Bucky passed and his best friend followed after him. She doesn't get many calls now that the boys are gone.

Kitty recalls the time when they would call over daily, they were coming over for dinner, or wanted to take her out, or demand she come over and bake them something. Those days felt so far away now, like she'd dreamed them or imagined them. With a sigh she pads down the steps and meets Bucky's mother at the receiver in the lounge, collecting the phone into her hands and answering with a pleasant hello. "Am I speaking to Katherine Lucia?"

The person on the other end of the line is a woman with a British accent that makes her sound very posh and elegant. "Yes this is Katherine Lucia Harris, may I ask what you're calling for?" The caller makes a pleased sound before continuing. "Miss Harris, I'm Agent Carter with the SSR. I served with Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes in Europe." Kitty recalls this name, but doesn't have a chance to add input before the woman continues, "I've returned to New York and would like to meet with you, if it isn't too much trouble. There are some items of the boys' I'd like to see returned to you personally."

Katherine agrees to meet the agent in a few hours at a dinner in Manhattan called The L&L Automat. She takes her time getting ready and reminiscing, reading over Steve's old letters mentioning a lovely British agent he affectionately called Peggy, who she assumes the caller to be. She dresses in black...again. It isn't on purpose, but after holding the funeral ceremonies of her two closest friends, she hadn't been able to move away from the mourning wear. She'll probably be wearing it for the rest of her life, what with the way she feels.

The L&L Automat is a charming diner with a gaggle of people already seated inside by the time she arrives. It's five-thirty in the afternoon after all, a number of people having already gotten off of work. A woman in a booth stands when she enters, raising her arm in the effort to get Kitty's attention. She walks toward the pretty brunette, dressed in a cream colored blouse, a pinstripe skirt, and heels appropriate for work. She's beautiful, Katherine observes, the perfect kind of woman for Captain America. She wonders though, if she loved him for the super soldier or for Steve, because her friend deserved to be loved. She pushes the thought away as she approaches the woman, reaching out to shake her extended hand.

"I'm Margaret Carter," she begins, but Kitty cuts her off. "Peggy, right? Steve mentioned a Peggy Carter in his letters." The agent seems surprised by the statement, but she smiles a little bitterly. Peggy doesn't know why the woman's admission shakes her, she and Steve were in love, she shouldn't be surprised that he'd mentioned her to his close friends. "That I am." she replies, directing Katherine to sit down.

A friendly waitress, who appears to know Carter, approaches their table and introduces herself as Angie. She fills up Peggy's coffee mug before placing one in front of Kitty and doing the same. She excuses herself after instructing them to call her over should they need anything. Only then does the British woman continue to speak, "Steve mentioned you as well. He said you were a very good friend of his and Sergeant Barnes' before they were deployed, though he rarely referred to you by Katherine."

The woman in question smiles fondly, nodding, "They called me Kitty for short, feel free to do so too." Agent Carter nods in agreement. "Kitty, the reason I called upon you today was to give something to you on behalf of Steve and Sergeant Barnes. I know their belongings were already sent home, but there were a few things among them I thought would best be delivered in person."

Katherine's chest tightens, breath catching in her lungs, but she forces herself to nod and Peggy pulls out an large business envelope. The contents are a few, but not all, of the letters she'd written Steven, some sketches Steve had drawn with her name scribbled on the back of them, and a handful of photos that feature her, Bucky, and Steve himself. "Those were among Steve's things. I'd thought of keeping the drawings, but I realized they weren't meant for me." Says the British agent, her voice sounding a little strained. Kitty smiles gratefully, "Thank you."

Carter turns a second time, "There's this as well. It was amongst Sergeant Barnes' personal effects." With some effort she lifts a military green steel ammunition box onto the table from where it'd been sitting beside her in the booth. Kitty is a little startled by the object, it's not exactly restaurant appropriate. It's approximately the size of a handbag and on the lid the words _Katherine Lucia_ are carved into the metal in Bucky's handwriting. Her heart aches.

"You know I never took Barnes for someone that had a wife waiting for him back home. " Peggy says and Katherine starts in on denying it, "We weren't— I'm not—" The other woman cuts her off, "Whether you knew it or not, Miss Harris, you were." Peggy pushes the steel ammo box toward her, "The contents of this made that clear enough."

Curiosity gets the better of Kitty, although she realizes she should hold off and open it at home, she can't wait. The box is crammed full of things. There are a number of photos. Some are of her by herself, some are of Bucky, Steve, and herself, and the rest are of her with his mother and sisters. There are letters, every letter she'd ever sent him, and a few he hadn't been able to send her before his death. There is a pocket watch— his late father's— with her photo tucked inside the lid like a locket. And, lastly, at the bottom of the box, there is a ring. A small, modest diamond perched on an elegantly carved and crafted band. The detail is striking and the beauty of it pierces her right in the heart.

With the little gold ring clutched in her hand, Katherine hangs her head, tears gathering and quiet sobs wracking her form. They'd been so close yet so far, she thinks and the tears just keep on coming. Peggy moves to her side of the booth, arms coming around to comfort her as best as she can. She knows this pain, feels it every time she thinks of Steve. And, even if they were all but strangers before this day, she understands that ache, shares that sorrow. Peggy Carter, holds that fragile Brooklyn girl and silently allows her tears for Steve to show. They don't care for the on-lookers, they would never understand the loss.

As Peggy and Kitty go their separate ways, they make plans to meet up again. She'll tell her more about Steve, show her all the old photographs, Kitty promises. Peggy helps her flag down a cab and bids her farewell. On the drive back to Red Hook, Katherine clutches the ammunition box to her chest—despite the cabby's staring via the rear view mirror. More tears gathering in her eyes, but she tries not to cry. She tries to be grateful for ever having him at all, no matter how brief, but she can't help but think how sad their story is. Always maybe, someday, nearly, _almost_. It's a tragedy, Kitty finds, how miserable the word _almost_ tastes on her tongue. The way they'd almost had it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wanted to bring Peggy and Kitty together, I thought they'd be able to understand each other's pain. So this happened. How much do y'all hate me? A lot? Well you'll hate me more next chapter. Thank you all for reading!


	13. Extra — Heal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "I put myself back in the narrative. I stop wasting time on tears, I live another fifty years, it's not enough."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to Marvel.

Early January of 1947 Katherine Harris makes her way into a charming restaurant situated on the Upper East Side, removing her winter coat, before turning to search for her companion. Peggy Carter waves at her from a booth toward the back wall of the restaurant and Kitty smiles, joining her friend at their seats.

That evening is as pleasant as it has been every month since they'd began meeting two years prior. The two women become grateful for each other. It's nice having someone who understands her loss, how profound the ache is, how no one seems to understand. Agent Carter is a strong, beautiful woman, with a heart of gold. It's no surprise why Steve loved her so, and Kitty too had come to care for the lovely British agent.

Their dinner consists of exchanged stories, some new— what isn't classified of her work at the SSR— and some old. Kitty's favorite are stories of the Howling Commandos— what she'd missed of Steve and Bucky's lives during the war— and Peggy's are of the times Katherine had spent with Barnes and Rogers before the war— the time before she'd known them.

Katherine tells her friend of a date she'd been put up to, by Bucky's sister Rebecca, no less. It'd been a disaster. Everyone in Red Hook knew of her ties to Captain America and Sergeant Barnes of the Howling Commandos, so the man had made a big show of being a hard-boiled army man and ended up making a fool of himself. Peggy croons with laughter at Kitty's account of the man trying to make Captain America references and comparing himself to him on their terrible date. Needless to say, she'd thanked him kindly for the drink, hailed herself a cab, and the next day asked Rebecca to never make a date for her again.

She and Peggy end their monthly dinner together on a doleful note, the Agent will be heading to Los Angeles in the morning, she isn't sure for how long. Kitty is a little bitter at that, not at Carter of course, but more at the Agency. Since loosing Bucky and Steve, she's become more protective of the people she cherishes, always afraid of sending them off and never seeing them again. It's become a part of her that Katherine is sure will never go away.

The two women part ways outside the restaurant, both a tad dispirited, but Peggy assures her she'll contact her as soon as she returns. Kitty makes her way across a major intersection, minding the traffic as she heads toward the nearest train platform on her way back toward Red Hook. Both the after-work and dinner-rush crowds fill the streets and sidewalks of Manhattan, and in her hurry to make the train before the doors close she stumbles into a the back of a man standing near the entrance of the railway car.

The man in question turns around, confusion and possibly annoyance written in the furrow of his brow, until they make eye contact. She takes in his fine suit and his dark hair, slicked back away from his face. A pair of stunning blue eyes meet her own hazel, recognition blazing in them. _Not Bucky's though_ , a voice whispers in the back of her mind. Katherine knows this person, she realizes. "Corporal Davis?"

 

After their sudden, almost fateful meeting on the train, Katherine allows the Corporal to take her out and eventually begins going steady with him. In the beginning she'd felt bad about seeing Davis. He'd been Bucky's friend at one time, but the more she got to know him, the happier she became. In his letters Bucky had mentioned Davis to be a smart soldier, a trustworthy person, but most importantly a good man. Despite her guilt at the start of their relationship she begins to think of it differently. Like Bucky has given her this opportunity. They become engaged a little more than a year later, in early fall of 1948 and a few short months after that they wed.

She and Matthew Henry Davis have a charming wedding ceremony in Manhattan at St. Bartholomew's Church and a lavish reception across the street at the Waldorf Astoria after a little less than a year of stepping out together. As it turns out, Corporal Matthew Davis hails from a well to-do New York family with a substantial amount of money to their name. Not that Katherine cares, but she'd never imagined living in a such a fine condominium like the one her new husband owns in Park Slope. It's still Brooklyn, but it's a step up from the warehouses and apartments of Red Hook. His parents live on a extravagant estate in Long Island. She isn't sure how much they really like her, she's not from money after all, but they treat her awful nice.

Being married to Matthew is the best thing that could ever have come to Katherine, after losing her both her best friend and the love of her life. But, it feels right. Not as right as life bid with Bucky Barnes, but better than she'd ever felt in the three years since his death. A part of her likes to consider Matthew Davis a gift that Bucky had sent to her. They'd probably never have met if not for Bucky enlisting Matthew's help. So when she marries him she prays that Bucky is happy for her, wherever he is. She sends her thoughts and her love, but knows that Matthew is a man he would approve of.

Katherine Lucia Harris-Davis goes on to live a full, happy life with her husband and has two children, who she names after her best friends. She stays in New York. She has grandchildren and they have children. She grows old with her husband, who goes a few years before her and then she passes away at a eighty-nine years old in 2008. She's survived by her son and daughter, their children, and their children's children.

Four years later the wreckage of a German war plane is found in the Arctic along with a not-so-dead Captain America. And, two years after that he fights a soldier in black tactical gear who turns out to be more than just a ghost. _"Who the hell is Bucky?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One chapter to the end of the line, everyone! Are we sad to see it come to a close? Post-Winter Soldier Bucky is headed your way in the next chapter and also the end of the line!


	14. Extra — Closure

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Our nights have grown so long.  
> Now we beg for sound advice.  
> "Let the brokenness be felt 'til you reach the other side.  
> There is goodness in the heart of every broken man,  
> who comes right up to the edge of losing everything he has."  
> We were young enough to sign along the dotted line.  
> Now we’re young enough to try to build a better life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Extra scene number three: In the future, now free from Hydra, Bucky asks Steve whatever happened to Kitty. Am I the only one who likes to pretend that Civil War didn't happen? This is part of the Civil-War-What-Civil-War!Universe. This is it, everybody! Disclaimer: I obviously own nothing of the MCU’s. Kitty is mine, the plot is mine, anything you recognize belongs to Marvel.

In the time since Steve and Wilson brought him in, Bucky learns he's not a fan of most modern media, which is all that's on the TV and sound system out in the Avenger's Tower commons. So he spends a great deal of time in the the apartment that he and Steve share— _which old Bucky wouldn't have called an apartment, he'd have called it a condo or damn house, the place is huge!_ — where they catch up on everything they'd missed since the war.

Unlike Steve, he stays away from learning via television, finding the History Channel to still be a bit too triggering. But, he sits in for Bing Crosby, Abbot & Costello, The Three Stooges, and Fred Astaire & Ginger Rogers films. They both wish they'd been there to see White Christmas, I Love Lucy, and The Honeymooners. They become fond of later shows like Bewitched, I Dream of Genie, The Andy Griffin Show, The Dick Van Dyke Show, and Gilligan's Island. Bucky falls in love with Indiana Jones, which leads to him and Steve marathoning Star Wars. The Force Awakens is probably the coolest thing he's ever seen. Okay, so not _all_ modern media is terrible.

While not rotting his brain, binging old TV shows on the boob-tube with his best friend, Bucky usually reads history books and science fiction— _sci-fi_ , Stark calls it— and listens to records. Steve had come about a ton of old vinyls, some at antique stores, some at thrift shops, some on Amazon— _the internet, so helpful_. They've got a happy collection of Bing Crosby, Harry James, Glen Miller, Billie Holiday, Duke Ellington, Ella Fitzgerald, Judy Garland, Rosemary Clooney, and Jo Stafford.

One day while he and Steve are lounging in the living room, Bucky reading and Steve sketching him reading, the two of them listening to an old Glenn Miller & His Orchestra bluebird record when a flashback sends him reeling all the way back to 1940, to a dance hall in Red Hook, Brooklyn.

The band is playing the same song and there are people dancing. A brunette dame with hazel eyes and a sapphire dress is pulled her flush with his front side, swaying along with him to the music. _"I'll have you know, I'm a regular Fred Astaire, Miss Harris."_ Bucky hears himself— his old self— and he hears the beautiful woman laugh, her head ducking forward, _"Sorry, I'm no Ginger Rogers."_ he hears her voice say and it's the first time he's heard it, thought of it, in _years_.

In 1940 he shakes his head, brushes his nose against hers, shoots her a smart reply. In 2014 his book drops to the carpet and he clutches his head as he's grappled out of his subconscious, ripped from her, and the dance floor, and Red Hook, pulled screaming back into the present. Steve shoots up from his seat and is at his side in an instant, trying to calm him.

Bucky doesn't mention it at first, but later that evening, after dinner when he and Steve are watching another episode of Bewitched, he suddenly has to know. The question holes up in this throat, uneasiness bubbling in his stomach, but as the episode ends and the credits role he decides to just get it over with.

"Wha-what ever happened to Kitty?" He curses the hitch in his voice, it isn't like him to stutter, never was. Steve looks a little thrown, eyes wide as he turns to his friend. "Kitty Harris?" questions the blonde. Bucky nods, dread filling him as Steve's shoulder slump. "She, ugh, passed away. I'm sorry, Buck."

He figured that would be the answer, she was only a year younger than Steve after all, she'd be ninety-five by now. That doesn't stop the ache that blossoms in his chest and spreads through his entire being. "When? How?" Bucky hates how broken his voice sounds and can tell that Steve is feeling the loss almost as fully as he is. "A brainstem stroke a few years before they pulled me outta the ice. She was eighty-nine and one day she was healthy as a horse, the next she had vertigo and was slurring her speech. She went into acoma and there wasn't anything they could do for her anymore."

Eighty-nine is a long time to have lived, in their day most people only lived to be sixty. Katherine Harris had lived a long life, but that didn't change how much he wanted her to be there with him. "Did she get married, have kids?" questioned the former assassin, voice small, so different from what Steve is used to. The Bucky he'd known back in the day was outgoing, never outspoken, a borderline smartass. Post-HYDRA Bucky is solitary, growing more and more stable with each passing day, but his presence still commands caution.

"Yeah, Buck." Steve answers, eyebrows pinched. "She married an army Coroporal named Davis, had a couple kids, a handful of grandkids." Something in Bucky's mind is reeling again, remembering. "Matthew Davis?" He questions, startling even himself. His best friend looks surprised but nods, "Yeah. Somebody you know?" The brunette pauses for a moment, his face confused as he thinks. "I think... I think I had him take her a letter for me," he explains, not sounding completely sure, "after Azzano."

Steve nods, pleased that more and more is coming back to Bucky every day. The next episode comes on and both of them stop talking, but the blonde can tell his best friend isn't paying attention to the television show and by the end of it, he can tell his best friend will need more closure for the loss of the love of his life than his sudden, inpromptu condolences. When the show is over and both of them are moving to head off to bed, he stops him.

"You know, when I came outta the ice they gave me a file with people I may know and their statuses. Kitty wasn't in it, but I had them look for her and they found me her next of kin." Steve explains, rubbing the back of his neck. "Her daughter, Stephanie, and her son, Jamie." Bucky felt his heart constricting in his chest, she named her children after them. "Sometimes I visit them. Would... would you like to come with me?"

 

  
Bucky Barnes feels like he's going to throw up on the car ride through Brooklyn. They didn't go to Red Hook, to Bucky's surprise. Davis turned out to have come from old money and after living in Park Slope for three years after marrying Kitty, bought her a big house in the western section of the Flatbush, one of those fancy Victorian style homes.

The huge, blue and white trim Queen Anne sits on a quaint street, in a line of equally large Victorian homes. Bucky is glad to know that this big, beautiful house is the place where Kitty lived out her life after he'd left her. He isn't sure that the Bucky who'd left her behind could ever have given her a home like this. As they enter they're greeted by a young woman in a scrubs top and a pair of jeans, a nurse, he assumes.

The nurse, Crystal, turns out to be the home health nurse aid that looks after Stephanie, her husband Michael, Jamie, and his wife Connie. Steve explains that after Kitty had passed they'd decided to move into the family home, they were older and their children all had their own lives and homes. They could all be together and still hold on to their parents property. Stephanie Mary Davis (named after Steve, and Matthew's mother) is sixty-three years old, while Jamie Christopher Davis (named after Bucky, and Matthew's grandfather) is sixty.

Crystal leads them through the house and into the backyard where there appears to be a cook out going on. Bucky swallows, even more nervous, as he spots at least twenty-five people. There are a large group of adults, two older couples— Kitty's children and their spouses, he assumes— and numerous others, all looking to be between thirty and forty. Swimming in the in-ground swimming pool are a handful of teenagers and in the yard are too many children running around for him to keep track of.

Steve calls out a greeting as they approach and is assaulted by a pack of children, ranging from twelve years old to six, all of them shouting various cries of _Captain America!_ The group of adults, as well as the teens, call out their welcome and a beat later a much smaller four year old boy teeters up to him as well. The blonde scoops him up and smiles back to his best friend reassuringly.

Bucky feels out of place, even more so than he does in the tower. The event is like the family gatherings he's seen people on TV having and he knows he doesn't belong. He isn't even sure he should be around children. He hasn't had any violent outbursts in a while, but this still feels like this could be pressing his luck. He's a murderer, he could hurt these people and then Kitty would never forgive him. He forces him to save the self loathing pity party for alone time and focus on the task at hand, meeting Kitty's family. Right.

As they approach the patio a pretty brunette with hazel eyes turns toward Steve and the sight of her has Bucky's memory reeling again. The thirty year old smiles, collecting her child from the blonde man. "It's nice to see you again, Cathryn." Steve tells her and she returns the salutations. Now that they're closer the former assassin can see the difference, but the resemblance is still uncanny. "You must be Bucky," she greets, "Steve told us all about you, I'm glad he was able to bring you home. I'm Cathryn, after my grandmother."

She holds out her hand, but notes his dazed hesitation, "Sorry, I always forget how much I look like her. You two must have been close?" Bucky seems to snap out of his reverie, blinking and finally shaking her hand. "Sorry. Yes, we were." It feels strange admitting that in front of all of these people. All these people who were alive because the love of his life had married another man after he'd _'died'_. In another life, in some alternate universe, these people would have been his children, and grandchildren, and great grandchildren. In another world he'd have come back from the war and married her and had children with her, moved her into a lovely house and grown old with her.

He can feel himself sinking into the dense abyss of _what-ifs_ and _could-have-beens_ , until a sixteen year old in a swimsuit coverup walks past them, "I can't believe Nana was bffs with these two beefcakes." she comments. "Andrea!" Cathryn scolds and chases off her niece. Bucky raises a brow and Steve turns bright pink. "You should have seen your great-grandpa!" calls one of the older men, Jamie, he assumes as Steve ushers him toward the two older couples. Barnes forces himself to be mentally present when his best friend introduces Stephanie first. Bucky feels like he isn't in his body as he shakes her hand.

Stephanie looks like her grandmother, Katherine's mom, and probably the way Katherine had looked once she'd gotten older too. "You look like Cecilia." He says before he can stop himself, Steve laughs nodding in agreement. "It still startles me, you know. Steve talks about Ma, and the war, and the 40's but you both look as old as my children." The sixty-three year old woman admits, all of them laughing. Bucky makes himself smile.

"I told her the same thing when we met," says Steve, clapping his back and then turning him toward Stephanie's brother. Jamie, the one named after him. "It's a bit strange to be meeting my namesake." He says and _boy_ does Bucky understand that feeling. He knows his silence is probably bizarre, but the words are trapped in his throat. "In our defense we never expected Kitty to name her kids after us." Steve inputs helpfully and the noose around Bucky's neck loosens in relief of the quick comment and he laughs, but it comes out a little strangled.

"Ma always said that aside from Dad, you guys were the most important thing to her." Stephanie said softly. Suddenly they were talking sensitive things and Bucky felt very uncomfortable. "Gran Winnie, Aunt Becky, Aunt Maxie, and Aunt Rose too." adds Jamie. Bucky's fucking heart stops. _Gran Winnie, Aunt Becky, Aunt Maxie, Aunt Rose_. Kitty had remained close to his family after he died, after she'd gotten married, after she'd had another man's children. He was gonna fuckin' cry, _fuck_.

Bucky Barnes often thought about his family. His mom and sisters were all dead, but they had children. He knew he had a nephew named Scott and a great-niece named Kimberly. Maxie and Rosie had married and had children too, but he couldn't bring himself to meet them. Not after everything he'd done.

Steve brings him back to the real world again, two beers in his hand and an apprehensive look on his face. "You good?" questions America's sweetheart. Bucky nods, but he's not. Steve speed-introduces him to Kitty's five grandchildren and their spouses, then he points out her eleven great grandchildren.

Eventually the army's worth of food that Stephanie's son William and Jamie's daughter Carolyn had been cooking is ready to eat and Steve directs him into a chair across from him and beside Stephanie. The stereotypical american barbecue is actually goddamn delicious, Bucky eats three servings, glad that this family thoroughly believes in leftovers and prepared a mountain of food. After dinner and two more beers, Bucky sits beside Steve and Stephanie in front of a fire pit.

They're all talking about average things, none of them putting Steve in the spotlight despite being The Star Spangled Man with a Plan, none of them judging him for being a notorious assassin. He listens to them talking about the stress of being parents and the crazy things their respective children have done recently. Eventually the six and eight year old drag Steve off to play and Bucky relaxes in the shadows and just listens. It isn't until Stephanie turns to him that he remembers he's actually physically there.

"Thank you for coming today." She says, her smile further wrinkling her face but she doesn't care. She seems genuinely grateful. Foolish, he thinks, but internally hisses a hush to the Winter Soldier inside of him. "It would have meant a lot to my mother."

Bucky's eyebrows furrow and he straightens in his seat, "Kitty meant the world to me." He admits, wondering if mentioning their relationship would be strange when she'd ultimately married another man, this woman's father no less. "I know." Stephanie tells him, eyes crinkling as she leans closer to him.

"You know, when I was nineteen I almost married my high school sweetheart." the sixty-three year old says and Bucky briefly thinks that he doesn't know how this story pertains to him. "I felt like he was it and if I didn't marry him then I'd end up a spinster. Until my mother told me about a man she almost married. She said that she was devastated and that she thought she'd never settle down, but she never once told me that she loved him."

Bucky's heartbeat picks up as he thinks about Kitty and the man named Eugene, the man she'd been with before they'd ever met, the man who'd rode off into the sunset with another woman and broken her heart. He watches the woman closer as she speaks. "Ultimately that guy left me and I was glad for what she'd told me. She said the man that came after him was her first love and she couldn't forget him all her life, even after my father. She said she never got to say goodbye to him, but she said she was happy with the memories."

He doesn't realize he's crying until Stephanie reaches out and gently touches his hand, his metal hand. She's unflinching and so damn much like her mother. Bucky's heart doesn't know whether to burst or crumble to pieces, but she doesn't let go of his hand and that anchors him.

"If Ma were here right now, she would know exactly what to say to make everything right. That's how she was. She was always better at it than me, I take after my dad." Stephanie laughs, but it's gentle and watery too. "But, I know that she loved you, and your family, and Steve. You guys were the world to her and she never let go of that. You both died and six years later she still named us after you two."

The soldier is inside of him goads his weakness, but he can't stop the silent tears no matter how hard he tries. He knows that some of the others are listening, he notices that Cathryn is crying, but his heart fucking _hurts_. A million years ago, he'd walked off that pier with the full intention of coming home to her, now here he is, decades later at a cook-out with her children and _she's gone_.

Stephanie gestures to her nephew Christian and he brings her a box. A green box, he notes through his tears, an ammo box. The vast abyss of his memory is reeling again, it's his ammo box, he realizes. He brushes the fingers of his flesh-and-blood hand over the engraving and recalls carving it by hand, remembers cutting himself and still smiling like a fucking moron at her photo. "She kept this under her side of the bed until the day she died and everyday she wore this," Bucky watches Stephanie reach under her blouse to reveal a necklace, a cultured pearl and a ring on a gold chain. The very same ring and pendant he'd gotten Kitty almost seventy years ago.

Steve is at their side all of a sudden, his arm around his best friend as the older woman removes the necklace. "If she were here she would tell you that she forgives you and that you should forgive yourself too. That so much in your life has been out of your hands and it's time you have your life back." Stephanie places the ring in the palm of his flesh hand, closes his fingers around it. "Starting with this."

During the ride back to the tower Bucky sits in the passenger seat with the ammo box in his lap and the ring pressed between his fingertips, twiddling it between the pads of his fingers. He feels better than when he came, better than he has in a while, lighter almost. _Closure_ , he thinks they call it.

 

**End**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well here we are kiddies! This is the end. He's finally gotten his closure and now has the opportunity to move on. Everything after this point is up to interpretation, does he move on? Does he mourn? Does he meet someone new? I suppose that's all up to you. I like to leave stories open-ended and let the reader image what they think Bucky would do. Thanks so much to all of you for reading, leaving your feedback, and dealing with my vast lack of regular updating. If you enjoyed this story then please look out for more of my work. Hopefully I can remedy this sad ending with the next Bucky story I might be putting out.


	15. Not an update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A mindfuck

After a very confusing exchange, it would appear that the ff user who first alerted me of a work being stolen mistook me for another author. So it appears to have been resolved. But since we're already here, I'll make the mandatory pledge. If any of see my works under any other handles but plotbunn1es or sojunari, please let me know. I'm very glad that things were resolved and no one is actually stealing from me. I probably should have waited to here back from the messeger before freaking out and startling everyone. Sorry for jumping the gun on my part. Either way it seems to have taken care of itself.


End file.
